I believe the Bartolo Colon adjective he was looking for was “corpulent.”

Here’s a good explanation: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=tl%3Bdr

Yeah, I was at that game. Thanks for reactivating my PTSD.

Bernie Sanders ... not incoherently shrugging off the idea that citizens should have access to public records as a petty distraction from the cause.

What about the “or making any other movement that hinders the catcher’s play at home base” part?

Wow, MLB’s officiating crew is really pooping the bed in these playoffs.

Everyone on Twitter was sucking Trump’s dick over his debate tweeting... but it wasn’t even good or interesting. I mean, I enjoy the spectacle of Trump (in small doses) as much as anyone, but he was actually less interesting than the debate.

Next in this series:

Just another example of why we need sound and sensible machete control in this country.

But will he provide a pack of batteries to throw at Chase Utley?

Read again, this time not skimming over the “or a fielder” part.

That is utter fucking nonsense. He went after Tejada, not the base, which is explicitly against the rules. And he has a history of doing the same.

How the fuck can he possibly be called safe after intentionally sliding to injure Tejada and not even touching the motherfucking base? BURN IT ALL DOWN.

I’m feeling good, man. Sorry you liked that garbage movie.

I will fucking destroy any amount of honey-roasted peanuts or beef jerky when stoned, and possibly also when sober.

I don’t know if this was necessarily overeating — it was really a combination of things — but here goes.

Man, was Slumdog Millionaire ever a colossal piece of shit of a movie, plot-wise. Everything about that movie that could possibly be wrong was wrong.

This new wild-card system is utter bullshit. You can win 10 more games than the second wild-card over the course of 162, and then your entire fate comes down to ONE game, which is highly subject to the whims of fortune. It’s absolute nonsense, and damaging to the integrity of the game.

I think I just came.