I’m all for creative license, KinjaNinja, but this premise goes way too far!

It will rise again...just give it like 20 minutes.

Did you just come up with this? Because if so, bravo. (I cannot do my own fact checking from the work computer, because I value my employment—not enough to stay off of Deadspin, but just enough to avoid a search result apocalypse.)

If you don’t want to go with Phoenixes, just call them The Phoenix, like The Magic or The Heat. It’ll sound like an adult contemporary radio station.

Split the difference, adopt the Penix as a mascot:

I was practicing some cheers for the upcoming school year with a couple of my neighbors just for fun.

majoring in criminal justice

Gonna be interesting to see what this team ends up looking like when IT finally played. Never a good thing when you replace Kyrie Irving in the starting lineup with the Ghost of Derrick Rose and Iman “20 min, 0 pts, 5 TO” Shumpert.

Kyle Korver plays defense like a Scooby Doo character wearing roller skates.

I’ll allow it, though it doesn’t actually rhyme.

+1 non-referential, non-vaguely racist actual joke.

“you sure about that chief?”

I knew a dude who played in a dirtbag punk band called Böner Döner.

Kanter’s pre-game meal of a Gyro with feta, tzatziki and extra onions made LeBron rethink his intention of being the last to back away.  

LeBron Stan checking in. He didn’t need to stand in front of the 19 year old to prove he’s LeBron. That shits childish. However, Kanter should pick a country to like him because he can’t go home and he’s begging not to stay here. (Not that we’d stuff his visa)

John Turturro looking fuckin FIT these days.

280 characters = twice the opportunity to show your ass.

No. Man, you know the answer is always and forever going to be no. Stop fucking asking, you are never allowed to use that fucking word.

Why do people think using n with a bunch of *’s makes it like you’re not using the word? All the *’s in the world does not make this acceptable.

Yeah if he’s not careful, he might have to resort to working for the New York Post again.