Are we heavily implying murder-suicide? Because it sure sounds like a murder-suicide.

“Sad story but I’m going to be an asshole anyway.”

Seriously? Every single NBA player has at least six secret accounts for booty calls and dick pics.

But it was used to defend one.

This must be the first secret twitter account not used to send someone a picture of your cock.

I have a different theory:

I’m a Silmarillion-reading, D&D-playing, comics-collecting geek and that passage embarrasses even me.

Hard boiled eggs are fine but they definitely stink on the way in, and then they give you terrible gas, which people are prone to on planes anyway. No eggs on planes!

I assumed “Aaron Gleason” was a nom de plume for Skip Bayless, and it was all sock puppetry.

Team Petchesky here. If you are sitting next to me on a plane and break out a Ziploc bag of hard boiled eggs I am perfectly justified in thinking that you are a sociopath.

Nice, I was thinking Eagle Talon myself.

Holy shit, how could you not print the full quote from Gleason re: bittersweet goodbyes?!?

We’ve reached Peak Fantasy when the anti-fantasy-sports takes are worse than listening to someone talk about their fantasy team. Jesus Christ, that was a death march in text form.

Wouldn’t an armchair journalist be someone who criticizes journalists without ever having participated in journalism?

I’m a huge Indians fan and I know in my heart that they will never win anythig until they get rid of that racist abomination. It hurts so badly to see the team I love wear something so ugly. Frankie Lindor and Jose Ramirez deserve better.

You’re two decades too old, and ten grades too literate, to be a ‘Stoolie’. Be thankful.

Maybe I’m preaching to the wrong crowd I have no idea... But I am a 32 year old male dude who watches sports. Shouldn’t I be right smack in the middle of Barstool’s wheelhouse?

“She redacted our name, but everyone knows, because she kind of has a big mouth, that we offered her the contract. And she wanted everybody to know that, like, she turned us down. Thank friggin’ God, because it would have been a nightmare working with this girl.”

I prefer (Redacted) cocaine (Redacted) bath salts (Redacted) off her pussy (Redacted) ball gag (Redacted) and a shaved billy goat.

So this story was