I’ll admit after missing the window to post “Get a Brain, Morans!” this morning I panicked  when I saw this article and scrolled to comment, then went back and read. What can I say, it’s been a shit week and I need the validation. 

I had to act fast. I’ve been regretting all morning that I was ten minutes late to post the “Get a brain, Morans!” photo.

FTFY

“But the exit of 40-man rosters comes with a drawback. It’ll mean that many fewer chances for minor leaguers to get called up and make their MLB debuts, which are reliably heartwarming moments that make the September slog more bearable for fans whose teams are well out of the race.“

That’s what I was wondering too. These brothers don’t seem to have had enough of a career yet to have spawned such enmity from Cardinals fan. 

There’s a not-dirty explanation too, you know. It could just be the new defensive end that the Bears drafted from the University of Illinois Springfield was relieved that while the defense was on the field none of his teammates tried to eat his favorite candy bar.

Scroll one article up. 

A lot of it (the not liking it, not the unfortunate concomitant nastiness) is just an odd cultural palette thing. Our palettes don’t encounter cinnamon and cloves except in desserts or things like mulled wine or cider. So the first time I had Cincinnati chili, I thought the kitchen had fucked up or I was having a…

I identify with that so strongly. When I was just out of college I was swing dancing six or so nights a week in downtown Cleveland and there was a Greek bar I would go to afterwards. The bartender would always have a drink waiting for me on the bar and his brother would go back to the kitchen and bring me back a…

+1 cream cheese

Thank you. That was my half-assed reply. I labored unsuccessfully trying to work in the appropriate response - the “I will rededicate the rest of my life to ruining the rest of yours” bit, but I couldn’t figure out who the analog for Isaac Jaffee would be in this scenario. 

Jesus, if that’s how guilty you can make me about looking at the ESPN app this morning to see who was playing, I need you to also tell me about taking the elevator instead of the stairs this morning and the bagel I had instead of the egg white omelette. 

This is the worst issue of Highlights magazine yet. I’m canceling my subscription!

I mean c’mon, let’s not stereotype. There’s no way to know that just because she’s a vegan she must smell. 

Citation needed. 

+1 Philo Farnsworth

Yeah, my comment was aimed at the Asdrúbal Cabreras and Kurt Suzukis. 

Wow, is that the Nationals everyday lineup or an impromptu episode of Remember Some Guys?