I didn’t know the Daily News ran on the Kinja platform. Thanks for the heads up!

If only Harry Caray had been there to ask him if he thinks the moon is made of spare ribs. 

I was working for a very prominent neurologist.

It’s all part of his coach-in-training internship program. They should get him a little CIT hat. 

Thank goodness this article wasn’t about what its headline seemed to imply. Many happy returns, Barry!

Fitting you had it in a casino. You seem to have suffered the slingers and marrow of outrageous fortune. 

Inspired by y’all’s wit, I spent an embarrassingly long time trying to think of a comment as clever as yours’, but the best pun I came up with is, “What a crock!”

When I was a kid I loved the Herbie movies. There’s one where Buddy Hackett puts Irish coffee in Herbie’s gas tank and hijinks ensue. They made it look so delicious and fun that I couldn’t wait until I was old enough to try one. I was so disappointed once I was, but it sounds like I got one of the crappy ones. Your…

It seems to be answering some sort of philosophical question like, “Could Devin Hester create a son so fast even He couldn’t catch him?”

If I could play devil’s advocate for a moment, I’m glad he’s okay.

I think then a more accurate headline would be:

“Ryne Stanek and Ryan Yarbrough combined for eight perfect innings as the Rays took the Orioles into the bottom of the ninth, up 4-0.”

One of the few players in the history of sports who was so good they had to change the rules. I hope he has the strength to show cancer the same tenacity he showed against opposing batters. 

If they were clever filmmakers under attack for representation could claim that all movies have invisible women in them. 

That’s seems like an even more bizarre way to score it to me. The bases were empty. Who was the catcher choosing to attempt to put out if not the batter? 

Yep. My mom took me there the summer before freshman year so I could get a couple “more grown-up outfits, something snazzy”. Miami Vice was my favorite show at the time (Hopper was right, Friday nights was a killer lineup) so I ended up with a pair of black parachute pants, suspenders, and black leather tie, and a…

Question - is it a stolen base, though? When it happens on strike three isn’t it just scored as advancing on the wild pitch or passed ball? The player doesn’t actually get credit for a stolen base.

This really should have been one of Deadspin’s one-word answer articles. Two if you want a modifier for the “no”.

Sometimes when god closes a door he opens a border. 

I started John Douglas’ book after the first season. He comes off as a self-congratulatory charlatan. I hope when David Fincher says the theme of Season 2 is narcissism, that he highlights the profilers’ also, and not just the killers.