It could be like Remington Steele, where every episode Steve solves the mystery by connecting it to some VHS hangout comedy. 

But if women stop drinking that would cripple the wine pun novelty T-shirt/throw pillow/needlepoint/apron/crockery/slanket industry. 

And remembering always that Kamchatka is a shitty brand of vodka. 

You could always say you were quoting Pink Floyd.

The contrary and more successful approach of other fast food companies seeing the same data as McDonald’s has been to steer into the skid. Don’t try and make shitty salads no one wants, make a hamburger with two pieces of fried chicken as a bun, or a taco with a shell made from Cool Ranch Doritos.

It reminds me of a Viagra commercial a while back. A guy is driving his muscle car through the desert, overheats, and pulls into a gas station. Meanwhile the narrator is saying how he’s reached the age where he knows how to take matters in his own hands. And then the guy proceeds to open his hood, take the cap off the…

Why wouldn’t the actual Mookie Blaylock be higher than Pearl Jam? Also, you’re forgetting someone:

Fans can enjoy dongs, but it can still be unprofitable to have them. A lack of dongs will allow you to sell your entertainment to Cinemax, but too many and you’re confined to the vault section of my hometown Video Cinema.

Does this look like the face of a man who is wrapped up like a douche?

“In 1997, NASA mission specialist Donald Thomas, a Clevelander, requested Tony Packo’s chili be included in ship rations on his trip to space.”

Touchè!

Aquadextrous. Oops, red further down and saw I’m three years too late. In penance I offer my favorite, the word for when a basketball gets stuck between backboard and rim - Voitlock. 

As anyone who played Risk as a kid in the ‘80s knows, Kamchatka is a great starting point for an invasion of North America. As anyone who bought liquor from the local Walgreens as a kid in the ‘80s because they didn’t card knows, Kamchatka is poison and will give you the worst hangover.

In an unrelated story, I bought a rotisserie two weekends ago. I made a Boston Market style bird then, the leftovers of which will be going into chicken Philly cheesesteak sandwiches tonight, and a bird marinated in margarita mix and fajita spices that we’ll be having in tacos later this week. 

I’ve never had Jack in the Box’s jacks in boxes. They seem like a choking hazard. Are they any good?

I don’t know if they qualify since I’ve never had a brand name version, but I know when I discovered sour peach rings at Mr. Bulky’s, the bulk food store we would stock up at before we went to the movies as a kid, that they were a revelation. 

There was a line in one of the articles on the Yankees / Red Sox London games that said something like U.K. fans might’ve been misled that all MLB games are five hours and end 17-16. And I wanted to know what about any of that was misleading. 

Yes and the Mind Flayer spinning around in the food court as the mall is coming to pieces with the Starcourt sign hanging from one cord evoked this for sure.

Jack Napier is a striving aquarium director who’s too consumed by work to find time for love. Sparks fly when he meets Vicky Vale, an intrepid reporter who is afraid of the ocean. Features the classic line, “This town needs an anemone!”

During my semester abroad in Prague we’d eat lunch in pubs most schooldays, and we often had smažený sýr, which is the same thing, except with Edam. It was served with tartar sauce, so I think it could turn out amazing in a Filet O’ Fish presentation.