I WISH they'd take me off their list! You know what I got this year that flabbergasted me? The Restoration Hardware Catalog(s). They came all bundled together in a brick that weighed 24 pounds.

I fucking love The Price Is Right, so it has to be said: The price is wrong, bitch!

Um, I mean.... Don't you think there's kind of a class element at work here? If you're not getting Front Gate* or Pottery Barn** catalogs, how the fuck are you supposed to know what people pay for what looks to you like nonsense shit?

As someone who works in the cultural vaccum and hellscape also known as Brooklyn NY, in which "artisans" charge people 80 dollars to buy a kit to make their own paper weight. I don't know that i would have guessed a different figure.

Did anyone read the *rest* of her tweets? She's like an ebola conspiracy factory. I wouldn't place too much stock in her reporting skills.

Skip to the kissing part already, also does this story have pirates?

explain Britishly

There is a gloriously cranky woman in Philadelphia who has a bra fitting place and it's the only place I buy bras now. I walked in for the first time and she took one look at my chest and shouted "NO! At least two sizes wrong! Get in the changing room right now!"

I don't even know where to start with all the things wrong with this. Seriously, worst thing I've seen on the internet in at least the last 3 days.

The pictures are fantastic! Mayor props to her. Hell, I would still display them, only to brag about the photoshoping skills...because, I mean, some are better at it than others:

How would an interested party acquire such a bovine pond to dispose of one's enemies, I wonder?

Ugh. What an utter ass blossom.

Hey, my name is Carl. I'm not high, I just woke up, man.

This cat high on the nip. She ripped a toy open, threw nip all over the floor, and went ape on it.

"So what if like the whole Universe was just like one cell in just like one of my whiskers? Trippy, huh."

It was 87 degrees in Seattle yesterday. Summer truly is not dead yet.

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, IT IS NOT EVEN FALL YET, PEOPLE.

Hey, if I see something that would make a good present for someone I love, I will pick it up any time of the year. I got my brother's present a few weeks ago.

Bah humbug . . .