When asked why she ran around the softball field, Ralph responded, “It’s all about that base.”

A giant Lombardi trophy?

It is not unreasonable to expect a place to be able to serve things on the menu when it opens. But it is unreasonable to act like a total bitch when they can’t. It’s a damn milkshake. Get over it.

No, mine was “I punched the metal door so hard that there was a dent large enough to have to call a handyman.”

I hate Starbuck’s “hacks.” The only people who use them are assholes who should be hacked to pieces with a machete.

They can learn it now or learn it later. Just showing up for work and not performing well doesn’t earn you a trophy or bonus. It gets you fired.

It’s no surprise he’s good with the bat.

I think right about now, 99 percent of San Diegans really don’t give a crap about the Chargers. We’ll find plenty of other things to do than watch a bunch of chokers who want to rape us for a billion bucks.

We’ve got billionaires here who build things where medical research is performed or engineers are taught and who don’t ask for public funds to do it (Prebys, Jacobs).

Here is what I hope happens. I hope that the NFL allows the Rams and Raiders to go to Los Angeles. And then, when the Chargers are stuck, I hope that San Diego’s elected officials grow a pair and say, okay, assholes, you jerked us around because you were getting set to go to LA. Here’s the deal you’re getting. You pay…

In my coffee shop, I had a clown order a latte with lots of foam. When I said, that’s actually a cappuccino, sir but we’ll be happy to make one for you. And then he dropped the “well, I’m from Seattle and I know my coffee.”

You know, I actually feel sorry for the customer in Mary Mastrangelo’s story.

That fight lasted longer than the Rousey bout.

Yeah, there is something to all of this.

I guess he doesn’t know that the University of Illinois has a pretty good speech communications program.

Hey, you gotta do something — even if it’s stupid — to get media attention. The Padres were 32-33 under Bud Black. Under Pat Murphy, they’re 16-20. Stupid trades, stupid firing, stupid hiring, so why not keep on doing stupid things?

It’s like showing up at the airport and saying, well, I only bought one ticket, but I’d like a seat for my entire family. Who the hell does that?

They think it’s like pleather or something. And the way they want it cooked, it tastes about the same.

I don’t even want to think about the diarrhea that will result from drinking this garbage. I mean, people though Olestra gave people the runs? Drinking beer all night long while eating peanuts? Seriously, before you drink this stuff, you should buy some diapers. You’re going to need them.

I wouldn’t call his comments racist. Offensive, but not racist.