I watch A LOT of HGTV but these two, ugh. I can’t make it thru 5 minutes of an episode without wanting to throat punch Chip. I didn’t know this back story on them but it’s not a surprise.

Is this really a surprise? I’ve seen a grand total of 45 minutes of their show and they’ve got that creepy megachurched look to their faces. Especially Chip’s eyes. Joanna just seems like she goes along with because she’s married to a lunk AND has retrograde ideas.

I’ll never get the facination with these two when the Beyonce of HGTV is Nichole Curtis.

I’d rather move into a $2 Detroit termite infestation done by Nicole Curtis than move to Waco.

The Property Brothers have featured multiple LGBT couples on their show over the years.

I have always hated this show. Now I have a legitimate reason to! Their relationship seems “look at how folksy we are” and their style is dated AF. I prefer “Flip or Flop” I do not know where they lean politically but they are no nonsense and I buy their relationship.

I want a French farmhouse. The kicker is that I want a real one in France.

Dude. I watched like 6 episodes of Fixer Upper in a row right after the election in an effort to numb bad feelings, when suddenly, it hit me: Chip and Jo DEFINITELY voted for Trump. End Marathon/Resume Panic.

She seems lovely, and he, well, certainly seems to bring a half-trained golden lab’s enthusiasm to the business of being alive, but sliding barn doors and pornographically over-sized wall clocks with faux “old timey” faces is some patently lower middle-class straight people shit. I was saying miss me with all that…

adding that it was God who “defined masculine and feminine, male and female, not you and I.”

For some reason my mom LOVES Fixer Upper and always wants to watch it with me, but I’ve always found the couple really obnoxious and have never liked it. I think that in the back of my mind they reminded me of every evangelical “do-gooder” I’ve come across in my lifetime, so I just sorta assumed they didn’t support…

If you think about it, HGTV has probably done as much to normalize LGBT relationships as anything on television. I mean, years ago you could tune in and watch same-sex couples house hunt.

Kind of makes you feel bad for the filming crew who are not getting paid enough to deal with him for hours every day.

I hear from Chip & Joanna that it’s amazing what you can accomplish with some shiplap, a big clock, and a little electroshock therapy.

I mean, I wouldn’t do it because Chip is fucking annoying as fuck. And this is coming from someone who actually likes the show and is fully aware of their religious background. I don’t even need to get that far to recognize that while they are okay in 1-hour increments (with several commercial breaks of course) I…

Yeah. I never had any interest in moving to Waco, fucking Texas, no matter how cute the homes they do might be. I’ve always thought I would have them remodel, and throw everything they put inside, out. But turns out all that garish, shabby chic, shit is on loan for the show anyway. Also, this isn’t surprise to…

Am I the only person in America who isn’t enamored with open floor plans? I am all about a house having good flow, but it seems weird to me to be able to see the entirety of your main floor no matter what. Does no one ever want to watch TV or read a book without hearing the dishwasher running or kids getting food?

I hate these people. And I hate shiplap. There, I said it.

We tried that once and there ended up being a few people who JUST COULDNT RESIST getting “a little something” for everyone. Follow the rules, people!

Man do kids get too much stuff. Adults too of course, but we’re much more of a lost cause. With kids, there’s still a chance to shape their expectations differently. I’d like to know the environmental costs of all this stuff- particularly the cost of the oh, 85% of said stuff that kids could happily live without once…