Posting that picture was uncalled for.

You can safely google it, but it's fetal alcohol syndrome.

I just watched the Dr. Pepper commercial starring Fergie as an object of sexual desire. This leads to the question, who is attracted to Fergie and if any of the commentariat is, and I know some have to be, what is her appeal? She looks like the poster child for FAS with breast implants.

I also bent something pink and fragile to the left while playing with balls and like Shawn, I have chosen to keep it like it is.

Madam, may I give you a congratulatory pat on the ass to commensurate your good hustle? I only ask because the last several Hooters waitresses I did that to were somewhat less than enthused.

Just last weekend I was saying to Maude, I tells her, I say "Maude, this Applebee's is fucking delicious. But you know what I could use more of in this menu? Mark Schlereth. There's a guy who you bring up and I say feed me his shit, I bet it's fucking delicious." And then Applebee's is like BAM! Here's your Mark…

You can buy a lot of fun toys when you save money by not investigating any of your school's rape allegations.

No, but I pretend to be Shane Victorino in various internet chat rooms for singles seeking casual encounters.

Somewhere, Jonah Hill creams his dungarees.

In related news, young men and women across America are going into fits claiming the spectre of Bob Ryan is pinching and biting them after viewing this video.

Ru Paul really bulked up. The muscle looks good on it.

Robert Evans has filed suit, claiming "I invented being orange, baby," before excusing himself to take benzedrine and fist aspiring actresses like sock puppets.

Archer. Funniest show since the Simpsons.

Also of note, the entire "furry" movement can be regressed to Lola Bunny and her heaving cartoon rabbit breasts.

Nash has all kinds of theories on how to throw the game out of equilibrium.

I'm also yoinking this joke. Sources will not be cited.

I think agoraphobia and various crippling social disorders- and in Uwe's case various outstanding warrants- had something to do with it.

+1

Odd snack combination that you enjoy, but most other people wouldn't think to try. I'm currently enjoying a bagel, cream cheese, and chipotle tabasco sauce. I also like peanut butter and dorito sandwiches.

The Swiss. No one hates the Swiss, but they're the French on skis. At least France tried in WWII. Do you know why Swiss cheese has holes in it? Because it's the only thing a Swiss man will have sex with. They are a nation of theologians and waitresses. Swiss Miss cocoa taste like someone shit in a hot pot and boiled…