HAHAH! My first sexual encounter with a guy that I (ill-fatedly) ended up dating for over 2 years...he was a terrible kisser and kept trying to dirty talk about how good he was at going down and then finally got down there and released a huge, wet, goobery sneeze onto my splayed vulva. I was young and naive and so…

Is anyone else like at the end of their tolerance for her sobbing?  And her and Cooper like falling all over each other in tears about how amazing they are?  I am so over it.  Calm down guys, you just made a movie.  The fourth iteration of said movie even.  It was good but jfc they need to chill. 

Every sentence she utters would cause buzz word bingo cards to go full blackout. Its like she vomited the mission statement of every Silicon Valley startup from 1998 all at once.

Hi all!

Well folks, I had a baby this week. 10 days before her due date, actually. Labor was extremely fast (less than 1.5 hours from start to finish) and we BARELY made it to the hospital (I seriously almost had her in the car), partly because we had to wait 20 min for my mother in law to show up from SIX BLOCKS away to…

You get instagram likes. Every “like” releases a small amount of dopamine and serotonin in your brain, which makes you feel good for a brief moment. When those chemicals are gone, you can experience feelings of emptiness and malaise. So you go hunting for your next fix. They're chasing the dragon.

In the space of a year:

WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE.

This was the hardest thing they’ve ever experienced. Hahahahhahahaha.

And this impacts your life how?

Ladies and the gentlemen, the Pettysdent of the United States.

Ummm, your response is pretty damn insensitive if that was what you took out of the article. A woman is missing. Who cares how it’s reported? I lived in Panama for ten years, Costa’s neighbor. It’s a known fact that ALL of Central America is a hell of a lot more corrupt in many ways than is shown on TV regardless of…

Kind of off topic but it’s cutely funny when I go to get coffee and one of the new baristas has overdone it that morning.

Jesus Christ, I don’t care if it’s to drum up publicity for tracks. This is all so fucking infantile.

Seconded.

You are meant for me, and I was meant for you.  I HATE tea.

BABY BARACK OBAMA!

Yup, yup, yup. But I imagine the 24/7 tail by Scientologists is a real cock-blocker, anyway.

If you are a GoT fan, watch his Gay of Thrones recaps. They’re short and amazing.