Tom Cruise is 5'9" just like all guys on the Internet have 9" dicks.

I heart mofongo so hard it hurts. This just moves the relationship to a new level. I thank you and anyone i’m dining with this weekend thanks you / can go F themselves with a box of instant stuffing if they don’t like this.

I can’t really handle the tenor of these comments. Diddy is a mega-celebrity. His life is not like mine. Or probably yours. Who cares how he handles his grief? I saw him perform at Princess Diana’s posthumous birthday at Wembley Stadium, and he was the last act of basically a giant festival of entertainers she had…

I don't think we get to say what's appropriate when it comes to someone else's grief. 

They’re all horrible actors. Kourtney recites her lines like she’s reading her grocery list. Kendall says “I’m going to cry for her” with a giant smile on her face. Scott can’t possibly be driving since he never kept his eyes on the road. Also, do they not remember that Khloe and Kourtney were in Mexico together when…

One of them sucked somebodies dick on the internet then her whole family cashed in on it.

Who are these people?! I’m old! 

Why the hell is this even a story? Jesus fucking Christ, y’all. 

Kendall Jenner is a literal Victoria’s Secret Angel

I’ve been vainly hoping that The Slot would turn back into the juggernaut it was in 2016, and maybe take over to drown out this National Enquirer side of Jez. I'm old and set in my ways, so I keep holding out hope for anything that's like Old Jez. 

What are they going to write about now?

About a year ago, I was dealing with the very tragic loss of my parents and distracting myself with Netflix and Tinder. Matched with a guy who had a shirtless mirror selfie - usually a hard pass for me, but he seemed sweet so I talked to him. I had hurt my back and was home in bed for 4-5 days and he said he was home…

GAAAAAAHHHHH! Burn it down, no other choice.

Also, sit down Rose.

C’Mon Rose...get over yourself. The movement was always about more than you. I feel bad for your pain, but you can’t erase that by bullying other survivors. Maybe you’re not invited places because you’re sort of a dick who wants to control the narrative? Maybe? Ya think?

Get the fuck away from ALL these people. They're fucked up.

I had to put my 6 year old cat down yesterday. I’ve been sobbing nonstop because all I ant is his little paw to swing down from the top of my couch to touch my shouoder or the top of my head, or to pick him up and lay him against my shoulder to listen to him purr. Beau. Died of kidney failure after fighting diabetes an…

Everything that Lady Gaga does always seems a teensy bit fake and deliberate. Like, girl, it’s alright, you don’t have to make everything you say so theatrical and grandiose.

Maybe Jez needs to get off Cardi’s dick for a while. She’s pretty clearly not the role model you guys think she is. She’s got some serious issues. It doesn’t matter why she threw a shoe at another person. It’s not healthy behavior.