Off topic: Does anyone have trouble getting their significant other to watch porn with them?

I hope that's not Mad Dog 20/20....

I love everyone's makeup. Everyone's. Simple, fresh, glowy skin, nice lip colors. Did everyone photographed go on a salmon diet? Is their glow caused by their combined saintly awesomeness?

Has this guy seen real hunters? Ever? Like ever? When I cashiered all the guys buying massive amounts of Wolf Chili before going to their deer lease were uh, shall we say, rather less than ideal physical specimens. That whole "shitty beer and bachelor chow" diet doesn't do much for one's physique.

The word "misandry" sounds like the name of a particularly unpleasant shrew of an elementary school teacher who smells kind of like mothballs, has a mouth "like a shriveled prune" and is super stingy with the bathroom pass and tries to make left handed kids write right handed. You know, like a Goosebumps book teacher.

Really? In Texas there's always tons.

hell the fuck yeah, Massive Attack!

My favorite of favorite nail polish colors is an icy icy sparkly light blue by Hard Candy (when they were still owned by Urban Decay) called "Frigid." But I'm a nymphomaniac, so I think it's funny.

garbage bags and rubber bands

My phone was out and we were waiting to hear back from my brother. She just happened to look.

*Frown* so when does my OB start throwing in free chocolates and cosmos (or better yet, chocolate cosmopolitans) for being fucking responsible and getting checked out yearly? Do I get a stamp card "Your 10th visit is FREE!" ???

Never mind the fact that all our gluten-free bread is about as nutritious as soda, and has no vitamins or nutrients whatsoever. If I could live off all the vitamins I take, I'd just as soon do that than bother with freaking out because my boyfriend used *MY* peanut butter and I have to give it to him because it's full…

I feel the same way. I draw and do artsy stuff, and a friend texted me about designing a tattoo for her and myself. Mom saw the text and launched into a tirade about NO TATTOOS and how she wanted me to live a life "Free from the mark of the world" which is something Biblical and also kind of rich coming from a woman…

Your zumba workout just got served.

Ha! My Nana always said that she went to the doctor every year for her check up, and she never got sick. I believe that is what they call a logical fallacy. Another piece of wisdom: "Everything looks so different at night."

Why did they send her back in time to the early 90s? That hair alone must have put another hole in the ozone.

Is there a possibility of a detour to St. Petersburg, MO as well?

I'll crush back so long as we never roadtrip to Innsmouth. Whoville sounds okay though.

A burst of angelic inspiration and heavenly song illuminated my brain as I just realized that Bieber is the new George Michaels. Or Michael Alig.

Soylent Green?