My mouth literally dropped open in horror when I saw that picture of his dad.

"Thug" "Ghetto" etc have all become code words like "states rights"

So you're actually very close here. But there is a syllogistic turn that you've placed right into form, but passed over. "Thug" is used as a blanket for hip hop, which, largely, the dumb people we're talking about here don't understand. It's also but not unrelatedly used in the more classic sense. There is a specific…

All my favorite minstrel performers are black.

You know what other word was used a lot yesterday? "Articulate." As in, "You know, once he calmed down and did his traditional post-game interview, Richard Sherman was very articulate!" which is fucking horrible in its own right.

Other racists will give them jobs, don't worry.

To be fair, the three whitest things in the world are:
1. That Papa John's commercial with Peyton Manning
2. Trying to justify racism
3. Omaha, Nebraska

Watching racist tweets slowly get deleted is my favorite part of embedding.

Yeah, I hate it when people who make career-defining plays against a bitter rival are still excited about it 30 seconds later.

Kenan Thompson's first bit on next week's Saturday Night Live just wrote itself.

If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping a face that never changes expression.

"Oh no, my young friends...you will find it is you who are mistaken. About a great many things..."

I still say Star Destroyers in atmosphere are kind of dumb.

Obi Wan's ghost: "No, you and Leia turn out fine. It's your kids, Luke! Something's got to be done about your kids!"

I'm 26 and was literally just sitting here, feeling proud of myself for being such a good adult today before reading this. I now see that I am not adulting nearly as well as I thought I was :(

That fat guy is so distracting. I can't keep myself from constantly thinking "hospital, hospital, needs hospital"

And I will now start chanting my usual mantra for when another Alien(s) game is revealed:

I think it was an honest question because most Alabama fans don't really know what English sounds like.