I've known Kobe Bryant, and you Mr. Klinsman, are no Kobe Bryant..."

Anyone know the whereabouts of Pedro Martinez.

Nice touch with the close-up of the squirting blood at the end.

"What a crime that he has to cover this up in order to continue in the business"- Carlos Colon

Using the old cut-and-paste wording I used on my college papers to avoid plagiarism.-Well played Rovell, well played.

I wonder if Reilly got the gift basket for this handjob.

+1,000,000

As a Devils fan, it still hurts. ( And yes, I know. The pain was already there once I decided to become a Devil's fan. Thanks, heartless bastards).

"...someone is gonna get on a blog and say Tim Marchman does something lewd to little boys..."

I go with the fast food chain that allows me to get my own soda at the fountain and has more than one register open. WINNER: KFC

...but was unable to break four minutes again...

Well, he could go back and do research. But really who's got time for that sort of detail digging when bad columns need to be submitted.

I'm gonna be real.

I believe this is quite fitting.

May he meet a stool on his way back to his corner.

All this banishment of free speech has gone way out of control since the Westboro Baptist Church were all locked up in federal prison & silenced for their views and opinions.

HEY. WHERE'S THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH AMENDMENT!

*Clears Throat* Hashtag YOU'RE ALL STUPID!!!

In his defense, Ryan Braun is a dick after all.....wait....

He also blamed the umpires for this.