It seems Cowherd has made "the Great Depression" his personal version of "we talkin' bout practice."

Heh, it's funny because the arrow's pointing at her gut and the word "bread" is misspelled. Stay away from the carbs, kids.

How the hell is it that nobody's doing the Carlton Dance in this picture?

The reason nobody covered it is because a story about a Brit going to Asia for work is worthless without a musical number from Yul Brynner.

In other news, I'm preparing an OSHA complaint against my employer for the unfathomable amount of dust in this office.

If it turns out to have been some minor mistake, fine.

Well, there's something I have in common with the Cavs. When my shitcanned Brown comes back, I usually have to write a big check too, only its to Roto-Rooter.

Well, I figured it had to be someone in the relative vicinity.

M-I-Z

Nice try, Ireland, but we all know your dad wrote that email for you.

I don't understand why he's looking so glum. He's not the one who's gonna be topping off a day with these little monsters by spending an hour in some awful room at the Fairfield Inn trying to blow some limp-dick from Dayton who's in town for the lawn furniture convention because I don't earn enough here to pay my…

Denver was expecting around eight inches through the night and into the next day.

Can't wait for the reality series where he shares an apartment with Christine O'Donnell and Manti Te'o - The Lyin', The Witch and The Wardrobe.

Nice to read a piece about flavorless white breasts that has absolutely nothing to do with Lena Dunham.

Where is "McMuffin'd" in this hierarchy?

I fail to see what all the fuss is about. The Kardashians have already cornered the market on the "inferior seed makes it big" story.

The irony here is that What The Fuck State isn't even on this list.

Let's focus on the positives here. Thirty three years is a hell of a long time. Shit, Jennifer Aniston walked away after only seven years of disappointment from The Pitt.

Given his age and the fact that it's 3 p.m., I'd say dinner.