let's all go to starbucks to discuss this further.

"This is not a drill! It's a hammer and nails... Now let's see if you can actually complete a fucking cross, Tim."

Kaylee really needs something other than a single spanner. A parasol would've been a nice touch

No need to sharpen. Good eraser (which is easily the most key aspect of a good pencil). Damn near perfect.

This is really on the players, and not on management. Not one of those guys has had a heat check all season.

My strategy is more concise:

This wouldn't be the first time Amanda Palmer sang over something free and it was a complete disaster.

"If Babe Ruth didn't get 100%, then no one gets 100%"

"Well, after being a huge college football star who generated a shitton of income for my university while technically not being paid at all, I'm honored to be part of a system where a bunch of billionaire's toys tell me where I'll be allowed to ply my trade. I humbly ask my franchise and my sponsorship benefactors to…

If there was a period in my life where I was having sex with Rihanna on a frequent basis, I'd probably have hip injuries also.

Dear Watt, I wrote you but you still ain't calling

I'm not sure I'm comfortable with Taylor Swift in the MLB record books, but "most hits in Minute Maid Park history" probably shouldn't be overlooked.

"one asshole is literally calling for the NFL to set up a private legal system"