And thus, the punishment for failing to do so is a broken leg which goes untreated for several hours?

I had the Green Lantern and Flash that my dad gave to me when I was a kid. The Flash would pump his legs back and forth when you squeezed his arms!

I think GIFs might be the ideal way to watch this movie

I expect to see this tag appear regularly across all Gawker sites moving forward.

Still, there's a nonzero chance that the Mets' season comes down to one game, and they find themselves wishing their best pitcher had gotten one more start.

During that Phillies/Braves game I was at a bar for a trivia night, with the game on in the background. Late in the game Utley hit a liner down the first base line, and before the bar patrons could see if it was fair or foul...the TV screen froze. Given that it was trivia night, there was a fairly strict "no cell…

Yes, yes I have noticed. So has my bartender, my liver, my psychiatrist...

"Hmm, these all look pretty cool. They got the likenesses better than I was expecting, and the accessories areOHMYGOD WASH COMES WITH DINOSAURS!!!!"

Are we certain, beyond all doubt, that Sam Hinkie and Chip Kelly didn't accidentally switch cell phones at some point in the last 10 days?

Working on it, at least. Failing that, I nominate Det. Jake Peralta's "Name of your sex tape!" as its successor.

Story time: When I was in elementary school, I had trouble with small motor skills. My penmanship was awful, and I was barely able to tie my own shoes. My fingers just didn't do what I wanted them to*. My parents took me to an occupational therapist to help me work through it, and one afternoon she handed me one of…

This is all a clear result of what happens when we started giving players free days off to see their kids' birth.

You're seriously underrating the Millennium Falcon's cannons. Seriously. Those were the coolest turrets ever when I was a kid. Seriously, imagine if the rolling chairs in your office that let you roll across the room to dick around with people had friggin' lasers on it. If I had a ship like the Falcon, screw the…

Most lather-inducing option: Sanchez demolishes Dallas next week, and then is barely present against NYG and WAS, leading to debate over whether or not to start Foles (assuming he's available come the first round of the playoffs). Eagles lose in first round, debate over who should've started that game rages all…

Along these same lines, there's often a sense that players should "shut up and play," that when they made the choice to play a sport professionally, they relinquished any right to think about the world around them or be an active participant in society beyond the few hours every week they appear on TV screens, putting…

That sound you hear is the sound of thousands of metal fans demanding to know why REAL music isn't getting the respect it deserves here.

So the explanation for why the Mets aren't spending money this offseason came a few months early this year...

So the explanation for why the Mets aren't spending money this offseason came a few months early this year...

So the explanation for why the Mets aren't spending money this offseason came a few months early this year...

(These are the only two movies [Andrew Garfield's] made in the past four years.)