"I guess sometimes there are no answers for why the good Lord called him,'' Porter said. "Maybe He is missing an energy guy on his team.'' -Terry Porter

I am a closed captioner. Much of modern captioning is done by voice- a trained individual will repeat what is said on TV in a very level, monotone voice that is easier for the software to recognize then the words that are actually broadcast. For unusual proper names like the ones you see above, you have to train the…

Agreed with everything except the last bit. Families that "whoop" their kids do it to boys and girls, it's not a gendered punishment when the kids are young. I think it becomes so as kids get older — I don't think I know many women that were hit with switches/belts after puberty, especially or particularly by their…

I always thought that was the origin of the term. (I think I've seen it used as slang in a 50s/60s slang context.)

This is an honest question: Does Adrian Peterson fully understand what he did?

He's shown he'll have no trouble making a switch.

"...I love Minnesota."

"This is how they treat me when I'm down and out? You kick me?"

"I mean, come on Minnesota. Look around you. There are trees everywhere, with lots of sturdy limbs. Have you learned nothing about how to dispense discipline?"

This is hockey. Corsi and Fenwick aren't dead. They have upper body injuries. They'll be returning to the lineup in a week or so.

MILWAUKEE-Asked restaurant host: "God, did you hear about Corsi and Fenwick?" Host: "No." Me: "Died. Unblocked shot attempts." Thought he would cry.

Name another actress who has done nude scenes over five decades. You can't.

My God that list is just fucked.

But supposedly Tina Fey is this comedic genius, which I've never really gotten either. At her best she's like a female version of Family Guy, too often she's like a human Cathy cartoon.

Not even a line, but my favorite was Jon Lovitz being in the Memorial segment.

Yeah, that list was some first-class trolling. He put some high-profile people at the bottom rather than people that got fired after only a season or less in order to get more attention. The idea that Norm was copying Dennis Miller's schtick is wrongheaded to the point of being laughable.

First of all, fuck Twitter, this had got to be the shittiest way ever invented to tell a story.

"Celebrity Jeopardy was about hope." This is easily my new favorite tweet.

No I'm not, I liked Bowfinger.

I know Murphy is the main story here, but how many of you actually looked at that Rolling Stone list? Serious question. MacDonald at 135 out of 141 SNL cast members was one of many rankings atrocities they conjured up. How so many of the current crop got placed in the top 50 (Darrell Hammond barely cracked that list,…

Eddie Murphy, I realize, is not like the rest of us. Eddie does not need the laughs.