Here is the most disgusting video I’ve watched on the internet in a long time

Kinda sorta maybe a little not really though...?

I do think Trump should be considered for the Nobel Prize for Physics for the hairstyle. That thing has dimensions we haven’t even discovered yet.

There is, of course, zero chance that the Senate will convict Trump. Still, it’s important to get all their votes on record so we know how many baskets we need when the guillotines are rolled out.

Also, this reminds me of Len the Butcher. (And no, I’m not a 4chan troll; I found this on one of those lame meme aggregator sites.)

“Maybe one of you just needs to get a rise out of me,” he said

To be fair, salted butter is an abomination.

Starred, but for the record, it’s Wile E. Coyote (Super Genius).

So, someone clarify for me: what good is a “transcript”? Unless there’s some technology that dictates, verbatim, what’s being said on the phone in real time with indelible markers that would reveal any sort of shenanigans, can’t they just doctor up pretty much anything? I mean, I can type:

Paterno actually hated Sandusky

Malcolm, if you’re reading this (and given both the size and the fragility of ego, I bet that you are) know this: the only thing profound about you is the breadth of your dipshittery. Trying to rationalize a defense of Sandusky and those who enabled him by delegitimizing the way his victims processed their trauma is…

Pickles were originally intended to be a palate cleanser between courses, so that’s how I use them. I eat the burger, then the pickle, then the fries. Oh, I might have a few fries with the burger (I’m not a madman), but most of the fries are consumed after I finish the burger and then the pickle.

You’re not wrong, but—let’s take this out of the context of this specific case and into the realm of the rhetorical, because I absolutely do not want to come across as advocating for this asshole cop—it’s up to the prosecutor to present a case that can produce a conviction beyond a reasonable doubt. Not any doubt, but…

That photo is simultaneously gloriously hilarious and utterly horrifying.

“The Ginger Avenger" is so good that I'm actually mad that I didn't think of it first.

I thought the hook was going to be that people all around them were disappearing, and that by running off, she was disappearing, too. And then the lifeguard/corpses thing happened, and I was like, “well, maybe everybody’s dying.” Even after reading the caption at the end, I didn’t get it until it was explained in the…

Whoa.

11 justices... I like the sound of that.

Five bucks says something really damning about Pelosi comes out during this—probably not directly related to this, but really bad—and she conveniently decides not to run for re-election.

Everyone in this country deserves a vigorous and robust defense. That’s how our legal system works (or should work, anyway).