Starred, but for the record, it’s Wile E. Coyote (Super Genius).

So, someone clarify for me: what good is a “transcript”? Unless there’s some technology that dictates, verbatim, what’s being said on the phone in real time with indelible markers that would reveal any sort of shenanigans, can’t they just doctor up pretty much anything? I mean, I can type:

Paterno actually hated Sandusky

Malcolm, if you’re reading this (and given both the size and the fragility of ego, I bet that you are) know this: the only thing profound about you is the breadth of your dipshittery. Trying to rationalize a defense of Sandusky and those who enabled him by delegitimizing the way his victims processed their trauma is…

Pickles were originally intended to be a palate cleanser between courses, so that’s how I use them. I eat the burger, then the pickle, then the fries. Oh, I might have a few fries with the burger (I’m not a madman), but most of the fries are consumed after I finish the burger and then the pickle.

You’re not wrong, but—let’s take this out of the context of this specific case and into the realm of the rhetorical, because I absolutely do not want to come across as advocating for this asshole cop—it’s up to the prosecutor to present a case that can produce a conviction beyond a reasonable doubt. Not any doubt, but…

That photo is simultaneously gloriously hilarious and utterly horrifying.

“The Ginger Avenger" is so good that I'm actually mad that I didn't think of it first.

I thought the hook was going to be that people all around them were disappearing, and that by running off, she was disappearing, too. And then the lifeguard/corpses thing happened, and I was like, “well, maybe everybody’s dying.” Even after reading the caption at the end, I didn’t get it until it was explained in the…

Whoa.

11 justices... I like the sound of that.

Five bucks says something really damning about Pelosi comes out during this—probably not directly related to this, but really bad—and she conveniently decides not to run for re-election.

Everyone in this country deserves a vigorous and robust defense. That’s how our legal system works (or should work, anyway).

Also, in that HHCD pick six clip, the announcer keeps saying “here in D.C.” Someone should tell the dude that he was in fucking Maryland.

I am genuinely afraid for Haskins. The comparable situation is the Dolphins, but Fitzpatrick has been around long enough to know he’s in an impossible situation and can manage it, and Rosen is smart enough (and undoubtedly jaded enough after his experience with the Cardinals last year) to have some self-preservation…

Keep fucking that chicken.

I’m about as anti-Biden as anyone on the left can be, but it’s a whole lot more complicated than that. The good folks over at electoral-vote.com have a good write-up on it today, but the long and short of it is that Hunter Biden was indeed on the board of a shady Ukrainian energy company that was under investigation…

You probably got that dude fired...

The Basketball Hall of Fame rewards role players more than any comparable institution (see: Rodman, Dennis). Add to that being the most solid player on both ends of the floor on the most dominant team of his generation, and yeah, I think he gets in. I’m not going to argue the point too strenuously though.

The RNC and the DNC are very, very different animals. Example: winner-take-all primaries vs. proportional delegations.