You're missing out, my friend.

He was. Something of a misogynist and quite abusive to his partners.

Hey! While I appreciate a good limerick as much as the next dad, I've gotta take exception to the last line. Infinite Jest is godddamn brilliant, even if I have a very complicated relationship with it because its author was an utter shitbag.

The eyebrows just aren't quite right...

I dunno, hopefully away. And I say this as one of his biggest fans. But there are three big reasons why I wish Bernie would drop out.

Nah. he’s gotta back up the Brinks truck for Dak sooner or later. That, and AB’s a bit too, um, uppity for Dubba-J.

I think “pulling off the ol’ double moochy” is what got him into trouble in the first place.

This is exactly right.

Back when MSN Messenger was a thing, they had an emoji (I think this was before emojis were even called that... that’s how long ago this was) that was a face with big bug eyes but an otherwise neutral expression, used to convey the kind of shock you have when you find out the boss you were just badmouthing donates…

When Chipotle came to my New England town, I was so stoked. Having lived in California for several years, I desperately missed having a taqueria close by, and considering my previous Mexican options on the East Coast had been Taco Bell and Sloppy Juan’s Hamburger And Pickled Jalapeño (pronounced “ha-la-PEE-no”) Wraps,…

Dad... Dad! Can we go on the roller coaster next?

OK, I’m a couple days late to this, but I finally watched the video. Why do they have a belching grizzly bear with a live mic when Ryan Clark is giving his (rather brilliant) rebuttal?

...Mom?

I’m telling you, we really need to start hyping Meghan McCain as our first ambassador to Mars.

Yeah, the point was not to really quantify how terrible he is, though I admittedly phrased it that way. It was just that, as astoundingly dogshit he is at his job (and at being a person), he’s just one of so many more completely awful, disgusting people.

Is he related to Jack Black?

I’d say Belichick is the Donald Trump of coaches, but even I have to admit that Belichick has a brain. He uses it for evil, but still.

Wait, so things were actually better under Dixie Carter? Jesus.

You’re absolutely right (about the first part; trans people are not “weird”). But there’s so much more horrific shit going on, from a sheer volume standpoint.

Ben Carson is stupid and evil. Ben Carson isn't even in the worst 50% of Trump's lackeys. Both things can be true.