It’s a superpower you acquire when you become a dad, like being able to carry things you couldn’t previously lift, the ability to nap anywhere, or the power to ignore otherwise suspicious smells.

...Uncle Gary, is that you?

The kool-aid spikers have pretty much all died off, leaving a generation of kool-aid drinkers, who are distilling themselves into ever-more concentrated, toxic versions of themselves.

Rather than waste time, consider this my obligatory comment that Nancy Pelosi is the fucking worst. All the defenders of her worthlessness may feel free to reply in kind.

Just want to say how remarkably bad the jokes are in this comment section. It’s like a dad-drunk-on-Miller-High-Life convention in here. Well done, everyone.

+1 Tom Collins in the Poconos Chuckle Hut

Thanks for writing this. I was at a bar last Sunday with an NFL game on the TV, and I found myself watching and enjoying it. “I really do miss football,” I thought. “I wonder if there’s a way I can justify the moral compromises it would take to watch it again.”

I agree with your general point, but I’ve got to take exception to your characterization of what Belichick did to the K-Gun. The Bills’ offense scored 17 points in 19 minutes in Super Bowl XXV, and Thurman Thomas looked like Tecmo Bo in that game. It wasn’t Belichick’s D that won that game, but rather the Giants’…

Something something pass interference LOL

McCready would have won the first time if it had been a fair contest. So of course when it was a fair contest, McCready... lost. The lesson here is never doubt the Democrats ability to snatch humiliating defeat from the jaws of victory.

Five bucks says the Patriots knew about this. Five more says the Raiders didn't.

Being a little to the left of Pantsuit Goldwater isn't much to brag about, but take your wins where you can get them, I guess.

To be just a little teensy tiny bit fair (I know!) to Mnuchifuckface, "Is the national security team a mess?" is a pretty bullshit question. How the fuck did the reporter expect them to respond?

Given that Trump was in possession of it, I'm only surprised it doesn't have bites taken out of it.

This is really throwing a monkey wrench in Gardner Minshew's destiny of washing out of the NFL after half a season and becoming a phys ed teacher who hangs out with the girls' soccer team a little too much.

Mmmmmmaybe I’ll buy that for the local rooting for the home team, but the guy in New Jersey with a star on his pickup wondering when "we're" going to sign Dak Prescott to an extension is still the worst.

A dice roll is a completely random event. There are no indicators presaging the result. Elections have lots of indicators. To give such a profoundly lopsided prediction as Silver and company did (two to one!) is so inept as to be irresponsible.

Damn hippie. I light my home with whale oil lamps like God intended.

I've heard this before, and it drives me nuts. How is saying something is twice as likely not to happen as to happen, and then have that thing happen, being "spot on"? Sounds pretty close to dead wrong to me.