The fact that FiveThirtyEight is even a thing will never cease to blow my mind. Nate Silver built a goddamn empire out of correctly predicting the most obvious election in a generation at a time when common logic was viewed as some mystical commodity (see also: Gladwell, Malcolm).

People are free to use “we” when referring to their favorite teams so long as people like me are free to call them on their bullshit. Why is this remotely acceptable when it comes to sports but (obviously and correctly) bogus when it comes to other areas of life? I’m a big fan of Star Wars, but I don’t say shit like,…

My money's on either Kevin Sorbo or Roseanne Barr.

Blind dog, stopped clock, etc.

Someone needs to tell BIL to go read an economics textbook. Sweet jesus. If I were dining with him, I’d buy several bottles of wine because A) it would shut him up, at least about that topic, and B) it would allow me to get nice and obliterated while he droned on about why you shouldn't buy gas on a weekend or how to…

Sadly, all it will take is one nefarious act by a foreign national on American soil to reverse this. Then the jingoism machine will rev up again and we’ll be Shocked And Awed all over again.

C'mon, Al! I know you got drummed out of the Senate (and I won't dare relitigate all of that), but that doesn't mean you have to take up with the scumsuckers.

Seriously. There’s something about all this that doesn’t allow the information to get much beyond my visual cortex. Like some part of my brain is pushing back to prevent an infection.

I ain't clicking that shit.

Still better than the silent acquiescence of our legislature.

What kills me is that this is a decision someone consciously made. Some actual human being is that stupid.

Does that make Jon Gruden the curly fries or the horsey sauce?

You’re 100% right. This absolutely had to be composed by Trump himself, likely in the very way you describe, or perhaps by demanding Pence’s password (like we couldn’t guess; it’s “mother”).

I feel so heard right now.

This does indeed suck for Lithuania, but good on FIBA for holding the officials accountable.

Alas, it’s just the NFL’s latest merchandise gimmick.

2 and 3. My meat-lust is boundless, but I recognize it as perhaps my worst vice. If there is a delicious, satisfying alternative that can make a big dent in my impact to the environment and the welfare of animals, I’m all for it. Healthy schmelthy.

I like to think this is karmic retribution for those ass-awful uniforms.

I thought HamNo did Jaguars Junction...

Counterpoint: if you’re going to square off against a professional athlete, an NBA player is probably your safest bet (unless it’s Kermit Washington). Low-quality NBA punches are the most hilarious thing in the world.