I guess if you think electing Joe Biden will "help a better world come about", then we have nothing to talk about.

Hey man, do whatever you need to do. I’ve been in an abusive relationship with the Democratic party for 24 years, longer if you consider my pre-voting-age years. They’ve nominated someone I wanted to vote for, as opposed to the lesser of two evils, exactly once in that time, and that was when they stumbled…

What I take from this is that there are far, far more St. Louis Rams fans than I had ever imagined. Full disclosure: I imagined there were none.

That ‘85 MNF game against the previously-undefeated Bears was pretty sweet, too.

I look at it like this: we’re on a bus, and it’s headed for a cliff. Neither Trump nor Biden are going to turn the steering wheel. Trump’s going to try to step on the gas pedal; Biden’s going to coast.

Oh don’t get me wrong, one side is much, much worse, but there’s a minimum level of acceptability that must be met.

Just when I start to think I have a decent handle on the world, I find out there’s not only a Jeremy Renner app, but also, apparently, an audience for it.

Wait, Diplo’s a person? The only time I’ve heard of him was in that Eric Andre sketch where he’s beeping a megaphone and says, “Sounds like a Diplo song.” I thought it was a genre of music that I hadn’t heard of previously.

President Joe Biden will make this country worse. He will not do so with the urgency or enthusiasm of Donald Trump. Our choice is whether or not that is sufficient to merit voting for him.

There’s tanking, and then there’s what the Miami Dolphins are doing this year. I say this as a Buffalo Sabres fan, so I know what tanking looks like.

I’ve spent my 42 years on this planet in the company of many dogs (of various breeds) and many humans (of various shades). I know which I prefer, and it ain’t the people.

For the billionth time: would you rather have Donald Trump try to do something? Let the motherfucker golf.

Perfection.

Now that Rutger Hauer is dead, who would we get to star in Carny Justice?

Drew Brees has 6 million passing yards and twice as many touchdowns and I can’t remember a single one of them.

Good. Fuck caucuses, and fuck Iowa.

I guess. My phone is on silent or vibrate most of the time, so I glance at it when it buzzes and that's about the extent of it.

Or just don’t answer the phone from numbers you don’t recognize.