As one might expect, Michael Harriot says it best, in his open letter to Jay-Z:

How in the world does this not merit the "Life's Rich Pageant" tag?

The most damning thing I can think of about the Titans is that, on any Sporcle quiz in which you need to identify NFL teams, the Titans are always the least-guessed.

+1 for making me chuckle at those club names, but not being sure if they’re made up

Saw something related to this on electoral-vote.com (my go-to for the most unbiased analysis of the day’s news; they don’t “both sides” things, but they do look at things more pragmatically than most), and they asked perhaps the most pertinent question of all: What’s Civiqs?

Drunk Irish guy punches other drunk Irish guy. This is the kind of scoop I come to Deadspin for.

This is satire, right? Because no one is actually dumb enough to think this way, right?

That’s some monkey’s paw shit right there.

+1, but now I’m sad all over again.

His combover is totally dreamy?

Having never heard of this person before, trying to parse this headline almost gave me a stroke.

Yeah, the manager’s reply is dumb, but can we talk about the letter writer’s expectation for decent service from a fast food restaurant?

“No no, I only want you to PRETEND to treat me like shit.”

The teeth were not what I noticed.

Fuck, man. I’ve never wanted to hug someone who wrote into a WYTS before, but shit.

“Cheesesteak cheesesteak Rocky Eagles fuck."

Shut up! Jesus! Do you want him to get deported?

Who is that pasty individual?

surveillance robots

easily recognize and identify