Me, two weeks ago, to friend who is just getting into hockey: “I’ll be dead if Tampa Bay doesn’t win the Stanley Cup. They’re just too dominant. I’d be surprised if they lose four games in the entire postseason.”

Do you bathe daily? If so, one is to assume that you put your dirty drawers back on after.... you...

Because that would be like donating to the ASPCA and the National Association of Puppy Mill Proprietors at the same time.

I know I’m a couple years late to this party, but...

The Warriors just got an up-close look at how fleeting glory truly is

Better yet, donate to some organization helping rebuild the thousands of lives shattered by decades of systematic abuse by the Roman Catholic Church.

Can someone tell him that he need not bother? No one wants to see that.

You dumb fucker. I live 45 minutes outside of Boston. One doesn't have to live in Toronto to know the Bruins and their fans are ass.

On one hand, yeah, that's probably the right call. On the other, fuck the fucking Bruins.

What’s remarkable is that David Frum still earns a living writing so many years after being George W. Bush’s speechwriter. How have his crayons lasted so long?

It’s also, apparently, how you make a crossover ass-ugly. Inside and out. Holy schneikens. That thing makes me want new eyeballs.

THANK YOU. Avery is right down there with pieces of shit like Ulf Samuelsson and Claude Lemeiux as the most wretched, loathsome creatures to ever sully NHL ice.

Burneko’s combination of deep, genuine insight and absurdist turn of phrase remains my favorite sportswriting thing on the planet.

Somebody’s getting laid toni... oh.

Update: There is is.

Curious if there's a competitive state that would consider doing this and has a realistic chance of making it happen. Seems to me that, unless that happens, this is entirely kabuki theater. Trump will not be bothered by this until it happens in a state he needs.

Yes, fine, but can we talk about the thumping Columbus is laying on Tampa Bay? Holy Jeebus I did not see that coming.

Your first sentence more perfectly encapsulates the state of the nation better than everything else I’ve read or heard in my lifetime. Politics simply isn’t about left or right anymore, it’s about right or wrong.

Won't someone teach it how to love?

As a Sabres’ homer, I’m incredibly happy for Robin Lehner. Dude took an inordinate amount of shit while he was in Buffalo, but he battled every single time he took the ice. This past offseason, we learned he suffered from depression and alcoholism, but it looks like the worst of those demons are well behind him. Since…