Jesus, we sound like *that*?

God damn. The Rams must be really confident in their offensive line.

Of course she’s right about this, but it’s an absolutely useless position to take. Approximately half the country would not want to do get rid of it, and that half holds way more than half of the legislative bodies required to pass an amendment. I hope for her sake that she doesn’t make this a plank of her platform,…

Still not the worst thing Dallas has gotten away with around the goal.

How'd you know one of my dogs was sick?

May each of us, at one point in life, display the profound joy and don’t-give-a-fuckedness of Kratu, the hero of our age.

Someone dragged him from this contraption and beat him to a bloody pulp, right? Please?

Jesus fucking christ. +1

49 people are killed by gun violence in New Zealand, and it’s a globally-recognized tragedy. 49 people are killed by gun violence in the United States, and it’s a slow Friday afternoon.

Meh. I can't get too worked up about this. As far as shameless access whoring goes, this is pretty harmless (as opposed to, say, carrying water for toothless Senate Republicans or something). This is what offseasons are for, and poking holes in it is half the fun.

This never would've happened if Donald Fehr were still alive.

As a Sabres fan, I hate you because you're right.

The 85-86 Oilers? Dude can't even starfuck properly. That's the team that got knocked out of the playoffs by Steve Smith's own-goal.

Can you imagine a discount at the liquor store for alcoholics who have a doctor’s prescription for vodka?

Is it... is it supposed to do that thing in the middle? Or does it have arthritis?

OK, show of hands: who else thought this was going to be about Patriots fans with “DO YOUR JOB” mugs in their cubicles?

Hahahahaha... this shit’s all so stupid and pointl

OBJ is a transcendent talent, but let’s not ignore the fact that he’s only played in 16 out of 32 games the past two years. He immediately makes the Browns three or four wins better, at least, if he’s healthy. But a first, a third, and a starting safety is a hell of a price for an if that big.

Nothing says “I care more about money than I do about being good” than signing with the Jets.

No, Stephen A. No one thinks you’re lazy. You’re just fucking stupid.