Is there a single person on this earth who is surprised by this? Rich people gaming the system so their failkids can perpetuate the cycle of extreme privilege isn’t exactly news.

Every time I think Roger Goodell's got it all sewn up, I'm reminded of bullshit like this and I remember why Gary Bettman is in the conversation as to the worst commissioner in pro sports.

Knowing nothing about LSU basketball beyond the fact that Shaq once played there, it wasn't until I started reading the article that I realized the headline wasn't some bizarre construction featuring the future tense of the verb "wade".

I think I peed a little bit when the whale ate.

I have a cat with a severe weight problem. Dunno why I just thought of that.

What in the actual fuck...

Nah, that’s not Luger, that’s Sweet Stan. The Midnights were CRAZY over in the late 80s.

Everything is totally normal.

He spent a No. 3 pick on Heath Shuler and a No. 1 pick on David Carr.

I am 5'9", well over 200 lbs., and I haven't played organized basketball in 29 years, when I was literally the 16th man on a 15-man roster. And yet I am fairly confident I would be a better NBA player than Andrew Wiggins.

No wait, listen. Let’s give this idea a chapfftHAHAHAHA oh god I really thought I could make it through with a straight face.

So what you're saying is, Odell to the Browns is definitely happening.

This contains more actual football insight than the last 18 years of Peter King’s career together.

Can we come up with a codename for them so you can write about them and we can talk about them without bumping their search engine ratings? How about "Feces Chuggers Anonymous"?

It's so cool that Gritty got invited to the White House!

Don't you dare besmirch wonderful, delicious ham.

Except I wasn't watching anything.

Was on a plane last night and the dude in front of me was watching FNC. What kind of beverage should I have accidentally spilled on his head?

It's like a Will Leitch movie review with epilepsy.

Hickenlooper is on the list of people who, if nominated, are bad enough to make me throw up my hands and vote third-party.