Admit it, you (or whoever writes Deadspin headlines) was afraid to try to spell D-Wade’s first name.

I haven't seen that in a while, but I'm reminded that it might be one of the ten best things ever interneted.

You're a good soul. Thank you for the kind words. Be well, my friend.

Absolutely wrong. We’ve seen what kind of miserable administration we can have when the head of it can’t get anyone competent to stay on the job. Would Amy Klobuchar be a significant improvement over Donald Trump? Of course. So would any one of my three dogs, and one of them is scared of her own farts. But if the…

 I said earlier in the week that the revelations that Amy Klobuchar is an asshole put her in my third tier of presidential candidates. That was wrong. Oh, she’s an asshole, but I’ll stick her in the second tier. With full awareness that all of the candidates are flawed dogs, here is my updated preference.

Just so you know, “It was soup day at the ballpark” made Popeye’s chicken go into my sinuses.

I would like to join your church. Hallelujah, praise be, you’ve sent the devil back to hell.

I wish I could give this a billion-and-a-half stars. Forget every other goddamn thing about the 2016 Presidential Election; the fact that the Democratic party, facing the biggest layup in the history of American politics, nominated Pantsuit Kissinger is a monumental disgrace.

How soon we forget the heady days of Brian Griese.

Considering the alternative was probably sending a second-rounder and a kilo of Rocky Mountain High to Tampa for Rapey McCrabmeat, this is a win.

I've spent roughly a third of my professional life traveling all over the country, and I've never heard of this place outside of a story about Haslam.

When I was a teenager, I had my first dalliance with suicidal depression, and Bob Ross just might have saved my life. I so looked forward to Fridays at 5:30 when I could watch "The Joy of Painting". I was so moved by his gentle demeanor and inspired by his artistry that I took up painting myself. I painted along with…

Dude, I still do it, only instead of magic markers and multi-sided dice, I use Adobe Illustrator and Excel spreadsheets.

Counterpoint: They're probably just as pissed about people who merge too early and fuck up the zipper merge for people who know what they're doing.

Oh, my ass is probably gonna die either way. I just think I stand a better chance trying to not get punched to death for three minutes than trying to weave down an icy mountain at a hundred miles per hour.

Co-signed

I think elite downhill skiing might be the single most difficult sport. I think I'd have a better chance of hitting a major league pitch or making it through a round with a professional heavyweight boxer than I would surviving a skiing run like that.

I’m a sucker for shitty fly-by-night leagues*, so I plan to enjoy both seasons of the AAF. But those officials’ unis are eight kinds of fucked up.

She was in my top two until the revelations about her being an asshole boss came out. Now she's definitely in the lowest tier.

When you play the guy who desperately wants to leave your organization and the home crowd boos: