When they get holes or stained enough that I can't bear to look at them anymore. Which could be anywhere from 2 - 12 years.

How are your feelings on variation? Like if I'm cursing at least every sentence, but substitute shit, bitch, cunt, bastard, etc for fuck, is that still boring? Of course, I sound like I have the worst form of Tourette's, but as long as it's not boring...

Meh. I enjoy using curse words as I like to challenge people's aversion to class based vernacular.

Then drink a bottle of Goldschlager.

I once read about some students in Japan that were making art (and money!) by painting this ladys butthole with various lipsticks, and then blotting it with paper. They were selling the prints. I was so mad I didn't think of it first, but I had no idea people would pay for such things.

Okay, I hate that I'm about to do this, but I really just feel like saying it. Pop music these days just isn't good. And I mean the top of the charts radio stuff we hear. I just think pop songs these days sound more bizarre than anything, unstructured, and trying too hard.

It's a good thing we have tour guides like Colton Burpo telling us how awesome it will be!

I knew a guy who sold his socks. He would meet the guy in a starbucks, and then take his socks off, and the guy would put them in a plastic bag and leave. It sounds strange, but because he met the guy in person he managed to get around $50 - $100 per pair of socks. I considered doing it for a while, when I was a broke…

I would love to make money doing this, unfortunately the market for lacy panties previously worn by overweight hairy guys in their thirties is shockingly low.

With a side of bullshit dressing

and bullshit.

It doesn't help that his Twitter avatar is super creepy, too.

Always have the upper hand, you don't need to know his name to hop on his tic tac.

Should have worn the Lizzie Caplan suit from Mean Girls

So, did anyone read this article or did everyone just look at the pics? I'm going to go back and read it, I swear, Dodai.

Men: Now us men can feel insecure too! Score one for the patriarchy!

Women: Yeah, bitches! Welcome to the party.

Men: Uhh, we were being sarcastic ...

Women: Look, motherfuckers. We've been dealing with this shit, like, forever. We're too tired to be sarcastic. We have no pity left. Now push-ups and crunches and toes…

This kind of pizza cake?