A difficult task indeed...

Scot Gregor? I thought you had to be from North America to vote!

I think the preferred nomenclature is "Ian African-American"

The league announced that he'll be suspended for one game. From a telephone wire.

I remember when he was chasing Dan Marino's record, there was a crowd shot of an Indy fan holding up a sign saying "MOVE OVER MARINO". I know that's incredibly tame as signs go, but it's so dismissive. The guy has the record for that long and you're telling him to get out of the way?

The Good News for him, is that Skyline Chili is a liquid.

Plus his brother was in 311.

?

I absolutely 100% refused to believe that is a true story.

True story: while in the Minneapolis airport in early October, I stopped in a sports memorabilia shop to see if I could find a U of Minnesota hat or something for a gag gift. I did not find what I was looking for.

That's J.Z.? I mean, I know I haven't been keeping up with current music, but he really let himself go since The Blueprint.

These fans are notorious for providing a cool reception to
Visiting AND home teams!

I bet you the piranhas don't eat his face.

If it counts for anything, I have Amazon Prime.

I used to think Rovell was just an annoying nuisance, but now I hate the guy. I can't believe he'd use Mandela as a radiation shield.

Holy shit, this is a fucking amazing joke. I can't wait to have someone explain why it's still hilariously funny.

Stuffing from inside the bird is far more flavorful and moist. However, it is true that the turkey juices that make it wonderful can be toxic if they are not cooked to a high enough temperature, and that cooking the stuffing to, say, 145 degrees will mean that your turkey is overcooked and dry as an old nun's…

He is?

Coach K will never run out of clouds to yell at.

Reminds me of the scene from The Simpsons, where Mr. Burns speaks to the Springfield Atoms football team before the game:
Mr. Burns: "Men, there’s a little crippled boy sitting in a hospital who wants you to win this game. I know because I crippled him myself to inspire you."
Cutaway to hospital.....
Milhouse: "I hope…