BOOM! Roasted.

Isn't there a stipulation in all Cleveland contracts that you spend time contemplating retirement?

Good points. I just have one question.

People like you are unbearable.

Wow, he's a regular Bearishnikov.

You spelled Tard incorrectly.

He's a 32-year-old college dropout who has the maturity of 13-year-old middle school twat who gets his rocks off by prank calling old widows. To date, Tarr's greatest prank has been to get Deadspin to post an article about his assholish immaturity.

I dunno. This is kind of up there with the two comedians that stole the Pro Bowl Jersey's from Mike Vanderjagt's bar. The guy's just basically being a dick. Not too amusing.

Only need to change one letter.

"cruising despite ... Nnamdi Asomugha sitting out."

make intelligent conversation with her, get her number

At least they aren't like those wild savages in Philadelphia who threw snowballs at Santa Claus back in 1968.

Can we please put to bed the notion that San Francisco is some politically aware, socially-more-conscious-than-thou, perfectly diverse oasis that transcends typical urban problems?

he owned a drive-in restraint

Humor that must be explained to be comprehended is always the best humor.

At long last, the marketing brilliance of Vince McMahon has been recognized

Sportscenter's ratings are sagging. I find that hard to believe. Where else do people go for their coverage of ESPN?

The amazing thing about this ad is that at 5 total seconds, it's 1:1 scale with actual hockey coverage on SportsCenter.

Nah, Jaws was pretty much hated here when he played here. He was more popular after he retired. It's pretty common in Philly. Mike Schmidt got the same treatment. However, Brian Dawkins has been and will forever be viewed as football Jesus.

To wash the paint right off, Pacman is taking the car to the strip club with him.