Weird niche sports car? HELLOO

In order:

Yeah, that’s a general thing about VWs. I have an Alltrack that the whole family loves, and we’ll probably keep it as long as it stays reliable post-warranty. I value on my time than digging too deep into the internals of that thing. My Honda Fit, on the other hand, I’m going to keep until the frame rusts out. 

Depending on the model year,replacing the timing chain on that RS4 in his own garage would qualify him for a Ph.D.

First of all, this guy is crack pipe in pants.

In my nightmare, those things start showing up in your targeted browser ads after you visit the website with a weirdly hashed URL that everyone told you not to read

Every foreign car service guy in Colorado just licked his lips and started looking up boats for sale.

Nah, piss off m8. If you’re using AWD for anything other than snow on roads, plastic cladding where the gross stuff gets stuck are great.

Who nice-priced this thing?  Explain yourself. 

My man. THIS is the answer.

Joking aside, the answer is clearly a early 60's Ford pickup. Who are these people proposing station wagons? Have fun wrestling kegs in and out of the cargo area. The econoline looks great, runs forever (obviously), it’s convenient to load/unload cargo, and when it rains just throw a tarp over your beer 

The Wadworth Brewery in Devizes has you covered! You’ve got * cheap, * plenty of cargo room, * rugged, and * it sure as hell turns heads.

Couldn’t say it better. I would only add that you better be ready for weird service problems, but for $7.5k, screw it, if the job’s too $$$ then just leave it at the mechanic’s and ghost.

You’re talking about Fiat here.  They could break a hammer. 

I bought an Alltrack with a manual transmission. Do you know what I had to do to find one? Eventually I gave up calling dealers and drove to New Jersey for a low-mileage used model with a clean Carfax. It turned out that the dealer pulled some shenanigans to keep the Carfax report clean, but we straightened that out…

Why not a K24 Si? That 2.4L NA motor responds sooooo well to just a tune and some low-pressure boost.

Hmm. I get that. Your buddy’s slammed copy is probably not the best brand ambassador since I bet the ride was terrible. Still, I feel like it checks a lot of your boxes. You have * rare and cool, * a hatch, * great for gearheads, * LOTS of options for go-fast bits, * great for autoX, if you boost the juice a bit, *…

It’s better, but very few people put mega-miles on VW wagons like they do ToyoSubaHondas, so we won’t know how the new ones do for a while.

Torch, I want to see you autocross in a Lakewood. The answer, people, is OBVIOUSLY a 1991 Civic AWD shuttle wagon. There’s only two of these rare beasts for sale in America right now, but with a little patience you can get an excellent version near you for about $6,000. Spend the other $9k getting the HP from 60 to…

A hundred World of Tanks players just had a fantasy about shooting the unshielded mechanism of that AFV with literally any caliber gun round.