"Wahlberg wears glasses sometimes, to show he's wicked smaht."

Went ahead and fixed that sentence for you.

I'll just leave this here, because I completely agree with Patrick's assertion.

She's a hooker, right?

Playstation 4 ($360) | eBay

Playstation 4 ($360) | eBay

I'm sure people in Houston still hate them.

Word: you (singular)

Wrong pronounciation: Kil-OM-eter

My experience with robot baseball has usually been better than that.

Error noted, but it depends on the category of hurricane. A Category 3 could be a Bad Mother Fucker, but a Category 4 is most definitely a Bad Ass Mother Fucker. Category 5? We're in Mushroom Cloud Laying Mother Fucker turf.

At least they put in the obligatory penis-ula

You can do curls literally any place else in the gym. If you use one of the two or three squat racks in the gym for curls, you are an asshole.

Come talk to me when you are pulling 4+ plates, you will make some noise.

If a CrossFitter works out and doesn't post their routine, did it really happen?

The switch on my current car is on the floor, right where it belongs.

Hazard lights...for when your vehicle is a hazard to others or in an emergency situation..NOT FOR WHEN IT IS RAINING AND YOUR CAR IS STILL GOING DOWN THE FREEWAY JUST FINE YOU FREAKING MORONS.

Good point...perhaps the 5 should be a "microvan"?

1000000% hilarious and/or well-played

One of my all-time faves: