"after asking the suspect several questions it was apparent he had no intention of acknowledging my presence therefore I had to arrest him"

Video of him choking his chicken would be...Fowler.

A quick thinking former NFL QB with the ability to remain calm under pressure and save someone from choking? Maybe Jerry Jones should hire Palmer to back up Romo in the 4th Quarter.

After the Jameis Winston thing, I thought we weren't allowed to make rap jokes anymore.

Chelsea has been barely keeping balance. Liverpool is playing better. We should have good mojo heading into the match. Man City has been a merciless graveyard for visitors this year and they fell back to defend a goal lead in the 2nd. Liverpool did well enough. Had we not gotten the offsides or had Sterling punched in…

uh, Daddy...we're on Deadspin...and you put way too much in your mouth. Daddy? DADDY? (now I know what Uncle Coughlin was talking about)

Agreed. But he handled a frustrating day in a hostile atmosphere pretty decently today especially after the yellow. A boy can dream, can't he?

The Books have set the line on this comment at +1.

Get back Sturridge & Enrique, keep the pressing midfield out there instead of Gerrard (blasphemy) & make a quality addition during the transfer....we might make a run for the title as all this talent gels into a much more formidable contender. But Man City & Arsenal are still the class of the BPL.

"Now I'm probably gonna stick my foot in my mouth but the UFC is not for the ladies...geometrically speaking, it's a Cocktegon not a Poontangle. "

Penis: SODA CAN (Mr. Pubes)

He's too much...

Ear: SODA CAN (Mountin' Who?)

Penis: SODA CAN (Mountin' Dude)

Well played.

Oooh Synapse!

Visibly drunk, Santa immediately identified himself as Batman and invoked his right to remain a Silent Knight.

Rectum: SODA CAN (Mountain Doo)

I would like to enter my photo for 2014 DSFPOY consideration. I call it Two Lesbians Kissing at Subaru Dealership after Closing on a Forrester for $1 Over Invoice