I loved this article.

Jon, Malibu Passages are Narconon are the only ways to be cured of addiction. Duh.

Right. He’s a German citizen. The entire post was a sarcastic joke.

The fuckin’ youth of America! Years ago, it took twenty or thirty years to become an insufferable prick! Oftentimes, the dickbag that you see at the grocery story in his early 60s was a pretty fun guy in college.

Can he look any more douchey-er?

Some music is impressive, because the instrument is hard to play, but it may not sound all that cool. Like listening to the harp. Other music isn’t really hard to create at all, but sounds cool. Like techno. Jazz music and Trombone Shorty manage the rare feat of being extremely difficult to play, while also sounding…

I feel like the Hawks have massive potential to increase in value. Atlanta is one of hip hop’s holy cities and the NBA has strong ties to hip hip culture. I feel like this was an awesome purchase and the Hawks really have the potential to (barf as I say these words) grow their brand.

Miami Heat fans leave the game early when their team is down so they can hurry up and get in line at ClubPureXTC.

I feel like you have to give credit where credit is due. If a horrible company like ExxonMobil does a good thing and get no credit for it, then the horrible company has no incentive to do any more not-so-horrible things. So, with that being said, Subway is far better for you than McDonald’s, and there are finally more…

What in the fuck is he complaining about? Fans getting excited at legitimate on-the-field drama? Shame on them!

Honestly, he would be really lucky to reunite with Doc and play backup to Chris Paul. Some coaches don’t mind a project player who needs to be in the right environment to shine, and Doc is just the guy to do that (look at Matt Barnes). But you have to be teachable, hardworking, willing to adapt, and have a halfway…

I have an idiot friend that got into an argument with an escort in Vegas, because she wouldn’t suck his dick without using a condom. It’s like, these people refuse to accept that a sex worker could possibly have any standards that are designed to protect their lives. The nerve!

Shew, I guess the fishing stereotypes are warranted, but as someone who has dedicated way too much time and money to fishing, they are a little cringe-worthy.

There is one substance that repels fish more than any other substance known to man, and that substance is DEET. Studies have found that fish will gobble up plastic worms dipped in motor oil, gas, lighter fluid, and all sorts of other nasty shit, but they won’t go near anything that has bug spray on it.

Wicked Weed is the real deal....and Asheville is an amazing breath of fresh air, a city with great art, culture, and food, surrounded by confederate flags and meth. I’ve heard that the owners of Wicked Weed are complete dicks though, and many locals are turning away from them...

I honestly laughed more at this brilliant piece of writing than I have any other piece of writing in the past month. Truly hilarious, and yes, I am a horrible, horrible person.

CraaaaaaZ wedding band too Dood!

After they cut he said “Daggnabbit what in the heck! I keep messing up this goshdarn bit. Dinglefitz!Geewillickers! Shucks!”

nuggets, lettuce, lobster, fire, beaster, super-chron, leaf, killa kill, smoke, BC, reggie, brown frown, couchlock, and on and on and on and on

Shew, these Dollar Shave Club ads are getting fucking gross.