I worked at a tanning salon in my teens. I am remiss that I’m about to tell you that Donny has put in some hard work in his life...but to get to that shade? You have to put some serious effort into it. Like spending the max time in the level 6 high pressure beds every day and then follow it up with a mystic tan two or…

Nothing would surprise me at this point, but quite honestly, the President seems less like the kind of guy who was organized enough to wiretap his own meetings and more like the type who makes vague threats in an attempt to bluff his way out of difficult situations.

“God, how FUCKING STUPID IS HE?”

My overall take: About as good as the first. Worth seeing if you remotely enjoy having fun at the theater.

This movie had way more heart than the first one even. Especially that moment with Drax remembering his daughter, Yondu’s arc, Rocket’s Arc, and Gamora’s Arc. Like every character had an emotional story to tell.

Brag/accomplishment thread! My brag is I’M DONE WITH GRAD SCHOOL!!! I submitted the last of my coursework today! So to celebrate I made a peach-blueberry pie with tons of crumble on top and I’m having the most amazing burger rn. I put TWO slices of cheese on it because fuck it. Lots of wine. Brag here everyone! Let’s…

So today despite them leading 7 years of incompetent and shite government the Tories massively gained at the Local Elections while Labour got destroyed. Corbyn however has claimed it as a victory because while they lost nearly every Council and 320 seats they didn’t lose every Council.

“A falsetto child?”

As an American viewer of Downton Abbey, I understand.

“Poodles of disposable income” = my favorite autocorrect ever

like, this was my rent, which I just spent on this thing that’s not happening.

Policing “impolite” language on the internet! Good for you, seems like a productive use of your time!

That’s an excellent idea. Even better if you pin signs to the back of your jackets so he doesn’t think everyone is just turning around to get selfies with his “glorious self.”

Jeff didn’t out Zeke as transgender to a national audience, the producers of Survivor did that.

That is absolutely gruesome and ghoulish and the first thought that came to me, too. *bleakly* Cheers.

Yeah, just because Beyonce makes pregnancy (with twins!) look like a goddess walking in a park, doesn’t mean it’s all skittles and (non-alcoholic) beer for everyone. One of the only props I’ve ever given Kim Kardashian is that she was so honest about how she f**king hated being pregnant.

In addition to being massively stupid, Trump seems like the sort of guy who would literally forget that busboys and other service staff are actual people with eyes/ears/comprehension. He probably regarded most people there as furniture.

I have to admit that Kylie Jenner is the first person I think of when I hear “Kylie.”

None of my dystopian novels predicted rouge park rangers leading the resistance on Twitter. . .

Exactly! Even if they did figure it out immediately the chances of being able to find and get an appointment in that time frame is next to zero.