Southerners just believe that God helps receivers get open on hot routes. Why wouldn't he appreciate burning crosses?

Trump just gave you guys a shout-out because he can totally relate. He's used to doing extensive combing only to come up with a confusing, unsettling result.

Reporters later added that Stapp's leap wasn't as much a result from drug use as much as the fact that he "just got tired of regaining consciousness every morning and remembering that he was Scott Stapp."

Ha!

[Desperately scans list of major Iranian cities to continue thread as confidence in initial comment plunges]

Crazy how unconcerned the players seem. You'd think they'd have Tehran away as quickly as possible.

"Suffering bruises, a sore jaw, and a nasty gash after encountering a Kemp? That's so 1989-1997"

Assuming his comparison is correct, DDP's yoga venture should end abruptly when Bobby Petrino crashes it.

Not only is it kinda tacky, but it's an omen of ongoing marital strife. Shows they'll never be able to conquer a division.

Bryce's advice to be "as sexy as [they] can" is fitting for those youngsters who wish to continue to attend D.C. free clinics well into their shortened adult lives.

Yet another 'lax' incident on a plane that has a disruptive, odious effect on the entire cabin.

South Africa may be a model for progress now, but there's apart I'd never point to in it's history as an example of a progressive model.

...because whether it's children or pets, you always have to make sure one knows it's the runner-up for your love.

Spike should Do the Right Thing and give Texeira his bat back.

+1, Tom.

Barry, I can't just sit here and allow you to bad-mouth "unrestrained capitalism." I mean, I think Magary is one of the best writers on this site.

Medvedev added that Americans' expectations of heavy on-ice Kombat may be a shock for the Kontinental Hockey League's players, but thanks to their training in the Subzero temperatures of their homeland he believes they'll be ready for anything.

Problem is, the more you make the Closer to the Heart they become.

It's not like Rush knowledge actually Peartains to the real world.

"Something tells me resurrecting an old comedy routine won't be hard for Djokovich. Man, these columns just write themselves!!!"