I know you didn't ask me, but I've played those games as well:

That song is so trill.

"FIFA will let sexism, homophobia, racism, religious intolerance, and rampant corruption pass—but not sobriety, goddammit."

"I try to forget about it, the Good and the Bad, and just try to improve every day."

Pitching Coach Hedley Lamarr to Darvish: Now Go Du, That Vudu, That Yu Du, So Well!"

"One former employee who worked for Downing says co-workers "couldn't believe it," and that it was an "awful awful drunken mistake, but damn ... what an asshole.""

I guess someone could have told him that "Herpes is sometimes the result of rape and a man," but that concept often confuses old coaches as well.

How did he get from Zihuatanejo to Tuawateneo? Is it possible that Billy is not as big a Shawshank fan as he'd have us believe?

"I turned up the charm like Patrick Bateman in "American Psycho.""

Luckily for America, he didn't act on his words: we don't need another Cuba's Missile Crisis.

Ha!

Ha!

+1

Not Pictured: The Yale team dumping a tray of finger sandwiches and a cask of Cabernet on the coach.

"Do you know how to get in touch with him?"

That video looks and sounds way better under the effects of sizzurp.

Adult References in Kids' Shows DUAN:

Ha! But, seriously, I don't know how she'd take it and, frankly, I don't really want to find out on the off chance that she takes this aquatic tragedy as her once-monthly flip-out session. You know?

Dead Pet DUAN:

+1