A Verizon employees that doesn't know or understand their own policies? I'm shocked.

Dear William,

I got one of these as a wedding gift (didn't ask for it) and it has just sat on the shelf in our basement. It's just easier to give the folks at Turkey Hill $5.

and that a dork is a whale penis.

The bums will always lose.

"I've checked my email. Gone through Twitter and Facebook. Been up and down my RSS feeds and poked around a few sites with the browser. It has been about 20 minutes and I'm not sure what else to do with the BlackBerry Playbook until another email arrives."

Does Plants vs. Zombies count then? How about Tetris or Bejeweled?

WTF? Like the last sentence says, what do you do if you need to nuke your system and start over? Dell started pulling the same kind of shit by charging $3 to get a disc with your OS on it.

Dude, are you serious? Cracked walls are a problem? Yeah, bombing every single piece of rock in Hyrule to see if it opened up was cool when I was 7 and only had responsibilities 6 hours a day for half the year and entire summers to do whatever I felt like to kill the time. I don't have that kind of time anymore. …

The pope shit in the woods?

Yeah, but did she gift you any time to play it? When my wife asked me what I wanted for X-mas, I replied, "Zelda: Skyward Sword and 50 hours to play it."

That's kind of how my Skyward save files always the most recent save was at 6:30 in the morning. I've been getting up 1 1/2 hours early during the week to play it. I think Modern Warfare 3 is still in the packaging from X-mas. Turning 29 in March.

So how do these people have the time or energy to keep making children?

I can think a tablet that has sold like 100 million units that can't even play flash.

Am I really banned? What for?

You know? I try to defend this company because I do believe that actually make some good products, with the Playbook being a great one in my opinion, but geez, they sure are making it hard for me to continue defending them. How the hell do you price all 3 exactly the same?

Have you ever actually used a Playbook? It actually is a great device.

What the fuck is wrong with these people? Seriously? Why? Why? Why? I just don't get it.

You'll probably spend more than $50 on all the batteries you would go through on the other 4 mice. I'd say it's worth the extra money.

Bullshit. You know just as well as I do that the iTards would embrace it and make plenty of excuses for it.