I was in the tool aisle once buying something like a drill bit set or a router bit when I overheard a conversation between a customer and employee: the customer was considering the purchase of a sawzall because “my furnace is in the basement and its always hot down there so I want to cut a hole in my floor to let the…

Bastian, how many dongs do you think you’ll ding at the Superbowl Cup Finals?

OK, so its Lowe’s, but the joke stands.

Don’t forget that home rule of the state vs the fed is the most important thing, unless the state wants to do something they don’t like, then “it’s federal law, you have to follow it”.

The totally sincere and philosophically well-grounded conservative principle that local government is good when it means “states vs. fed” but bad when it means “cities vs. states”, endures. We should all be inspired by their commitment to this totally non-hypocritical point of view.

the system is working just fine. Jail is for rehabilitation. Civil suits are for punishment.

Potaders! Just whip baby!

“Potato Raiders” is fun to say quickly.

Hypocriticus Ch. 3:18 “And Jesus said unto the blind man, Verily, verily, I say unto you: That shit is not my problem.”

I can’t believe it’s been almost 20 years without Phil Hartman

CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THE RHYMING SCHEME ITS MULTI LAYERED BECAUSE BRAIN INJURIES AND CTE ARE FUNNY WHEN YOU’RE COMMENTING ON DEADSPIN ABOUT IT

ROSES ARE RED

Blue Balls Matter

I’d kill him with kindness.

Are you a Texans fan now, or did you end up sticking with the Titans?

Technically, CONCACAF is entitled to 3.5 bids in the World Cup. The team that places fourth in CONCACAF will play a two-leg playoff against the fifth-place team from AFC (the Asian confederation). The winner on aggregate goals qualifies for the World Cup.

The United States is still good enough to qualify for the World Cup, and they will go to Russia in 2018 if they simply win their home games.

“To go from such a good win against Chile to a loss in Bolivia...Argentine football still has a long way to go.”

What country is only 10,000 meters across? Vatican City?