Calm down there, Satan.

♫ HGH you work so gooooood ♫

I really, really, really, really enjoyed the sound of the handcuffs locking, and the thought that he probably never in his life expected to feel that.

Get yourself some Frye boots, they’re easily the most comfortable and can take a beating. My father-in-law has a pair older than I am that he still wears.

That was the least erotic video involving a massive Dong and an equally massive pair of breasts that I’ve ever watched.

"God has cared for these trees, saved them from drought, disease, avalanches, and a thousand tempests and floods. But he cannot save them from fools."

I see reports like this and I worry for the future of our country. I realize that sounds so cliched but it's true. I was raised in a solidly middle class family whose standard of living gradually increased as I grew older. Now as an adult, I've still considered myself and my family middle class - maybe upper middle,…

seems like more and more kids these days should be given this kind of advice. At least the niece got off easy by simply being written off as a bad person with no other real repercussions if she didn't repay the loan.

Never, ever, EVER, use the Internet to prove your wife wrong.

"Dirty uniforms, meanwhile, like all the girdles filled with blood and feces because some hits are savage enough to overpower the central nervous system, I'd put in a special bin for disposal."

Isn't involuntarily shitting your pants a symptom of pretty significant head trauma associated with concussion-like symptoms? I read an article about how this is a thing football players taking huge hits to their head do (maybe even on deadspin itself). So while we can laugh at him for shitting himself, this may…

Morgan's sentiments here are very high-minded and I agree that when we focus on race internally it helps reinforce those divisions but when you have economic policies that favor one skin color over another, then not talking about race is tantamount to, "Shut up. I don't want to talk about this problem."

You sound like a delightful, highly informed human being.

Goddamnit, Kinja, I tried to edit but have no idea if it's working. You're right - there were early reports that Cobb Commissioners received Tea Party support in the county, but they are not necessarily Tea Party candidates.

"It's a powerful symbol of America's economic decline,"