We all know that “blunt” is an acronym for “Bombastic,” “Lazy,” “Unctuous,” “Neanderthal,” “Twerp,” right?

“Your Honor, my client, would like to throw herself at the mercy of Judge Collins’s court…”

Based on his skills as a neurosurgeon alone, I think this man is nothing short of a genius. Just taking into account his utterances of the last week, he has clearly removed his own brain, a feat of unparalleled neurosurgery.

Half-way through trying to read this goat rope of a piece, my brain locked up, like I had consumed too much ice cream too quickly. Were that that was the case…

Bobby Jindal: living proof that shit floats.

I won’t see a movie that this human shit stain is in now because of this. Fuck him and the unbridled ego he rode in on…

To your note, Chrissie, I won’t.

Watching this piece is less entertaining than watching a rabid cat shit peach pits.

His writing is to literature what neuro-toxic molds are to the betterment of the human race…

Wait till they get to noogies…

When I first saw this man’s visage, I immediately felt a stabbing pang of pity, thinking “my god, someone suffered some kind of injury involving sulfuric acid and Shakey’s Bunch-o’-Lunch!”

She is, quite simply, amazing. So sharp, so poised, so informed, so committed.

Whatever the cause of death in this unqualified tragedy, the good money says that years from now, when the people who knew this poor young man have aged and seen what Life has to offer, they will think of him yet again. And get a true sense of the profound loss that has occurred in this instance.

Thus completing the the rhetorical phrase, “If I had a hammer…”

No, Geoffrey’s.

It was Geoffrey’s. And if you’ve ever worked there, it was not-so-fabulous.

I think it’s safe to say that in the race to The Bottom, you may have won with this slice of life…

This “interview” was a huge disappointment, though after watching Colbert’s handling of Bernie Sanders, I expected it.

This was definitely the work of a lone party, a rogue agent, if you will. Their effort was a single shot. They were in a bookstore, behind a grassy knoll, last time I saw them…

Well, if what the players make is obscene in your estimation, how would you characterize what ownership makes?