He's just playing Wade Boggs's version of fuck-kill-marry.

Little knownfact: in 1918 baseball players curtseyed the fans at the end of the year.

CJ Ross scored this 1-0 for the canvas.

Shahid:

This ring happened from staring at his QB depth chart all night long.

Vontae:

The Ravens had a crew that looked like that on standby from 2000-2012.

But have you heard Will Leitch speak? That's probably why. Yeech!

Seems like it should be higher up on the page.

Sting-rays?

Too much Quick; not enough turtle.

If you fail to deliver the pizza in 30 minutes or less, are you docked pay?

Vader nadir.

LION'S SUK! GO BAERS!!!!!!

Hey Raysism, wanna buy a +1?

Corollary paper towel usage is in aqua shortly afterwards.

I'm assuming this is an early sign of the coming zombie apocalypse, but to each their own.

Can we still nounce Mila Kunis?

She could always sell cosmetics from a pink Cadillac.

Sal Paolantonio, the Bashar al-Assad of NFL reporters.