Looks likes these two missed the day in health class instructing them about the proper way to use a seat condom.

1 year. But then I became employed as a stay-at-home dad. I've never worked harder in my life.

No, I haven't wondered that.

Juice is just soda without the bubbly deliciousness.

Ooh, fun chart! That would look nice on my wall. Let me just spool up the ol' dot matrix and were in business.

Now I want arepas.

/Fantasy on

I'm pretty sure this has everything to do with the fact that Belichick can't handle the big city spotlight of Boston.

For a few months last year I had an obscenely high BABIP, but then my wife got pregnant.

What level sudoku do you think Peyton is doing in the box tonight?

While others prefer stickum on their gloves, Mike enjoys soaking his hands in Palmolive on the sidelines.

My God did they put all of the stem cells in Peyton's forearm?

Who buried Lane Staley under Soldier Field?

Hey, that could be an important game. One of those two teams has a good chance of getting beat in the playoffs by a vastly superior wildcard team.

Hey Lovie, why the hell did we ever get on that boat?

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Hey yeah!

My name is Fred. Mr. Jackson if you're nasty!

Yeah, I'll take it too. I figured we would've had a 4-0 start sometime in the Mike White era. Then I researched it a little and found out he had Brad Childress as an assistant coach. Things fell into place after that.

Apropos of nothing (can I say that still?) Illinois is 4-0 for the first time in 60 years. This makes me happy and sad all at once.