So it has a ma-HOO-sive engine in it. Which American car doesn't? My question is though, how will it handle all that power?

This moment brought to you by Ground Clearance! Whether you're traversing a speed bump, parking a car, or going over that dead squirrel in the middle of the road, you need Ground Clearance!

Yes to #1. Being a valet I have to pop the trunk/boot quite often, so I see all kinds of weird places for this. (And I refuse to cop out and use the fob!) The Chevy Cruze doesn't even have a trunk release inside! Had to read the booklet to find out that you treat the trunk like a hatchback. Unlock all the doors and…

So which vehicle would best represent the world? Or was that list already done?

This isn't too surprising. When working at a body shop when they had to take the muffler off of a Trail Blazer (the official car of witness protection), that sucker sounded mean.

We'll make our own space station! With blackjacks! And hookers!

Okay, maybe not as hard in the movies, but HOLY BODY LEAN BATMAN!

Makes sense that they would introduce it as a Jeep, the one brand that Marchionne said he'll take around the world. As far as I know, Ram is strictly a North American market brand.

High ground clearance, usable interior, optional four wheel drive, good fuel economy, good looks...

Engineering achievement? Sure. But come on Porsche! Look at that panel gap!

How about the minivan? You and six other friends can enjoy the sensation of creating your own personal smoke screen!

So after telling the story of how America is down but not out over the last few years, did Chrysler jump the gun with this latest ad? I don't know. Maybe. But there's also something to be said for a celebrating a little success after being on the brink just a few years earlier. The same could be said for many of us.

*as mind bleach for this...thing. Even in camouflage, it's dead sexy.

Can we have some spy shots of the new Cadillac flagship testing?

You sure Honda doesn't have this guy on staff?

Now, how will it look with a Lancia badge?

Can someone please explain this to me? Why is this still here? We have the C-Max, Escape, Flex, Explorer...for crying out loud the Transit Connect! Seriously, why does Ford still have this when five other models can do the job just as well, if not better? (Looking at you Escape.)

Is it sad that now I want a Detroit Neon jersey?

Heh. Funny thing about that is when we had one in the body shop when it was icy, and I couldn't get the damn thing up a slick incline. I had to have my boss help me push the thing up. Though it could have been the tires that caused me to spin in second going up.

I want the Alfa, I really do. It's even in budget. My fear is not the cost of ownership, but what the local weather and careless idiots in the parking lot will do to her. Someone PLEASE give this car a good home.