Chris Brown's involvement makes much more sense when you realize he's a huge Wonder Showzen fan.

We all win with Kidd though. The completely unreasonable expectations of Nets ownership, a bloated roster full of bad defenders, and his utter lack of experience will inevitably lead to hilariously disastrous results.

That he turned down countless big-time collegiate positions and only bailed for one of the premier clubs at the pro level (something even the Kentuckys of the world can't match) isn't a bad thing at all. If anything, it'll boost the reputation of Butler and other mid-majors. They don't have to be viewed as pit stops…

Not surprising Maddux is so bitter, given that his website thebestlaxintheuniverse.com was great back in the early 2000s but has really fallen off recently.

-Norman Schwarzkopf, 1991

Are we referring to the city, or some child that was recently born to Park Slope parents?

"The director must have spent a ton of money on black greasepaint!"

Andrew Jackson

[meh]

Funny that a black bear climbed up, as usually they're on the down low.

...and this is why you always bring a flask to the competition if you're an interview coach.

+1

And in completely unrelated news, Derek Bell is wondering if anyone can loan him an unwarmed pipe.

After hiring Kidd, the Nets continued to hire former players by telling Todd MacColloch that the toilets in the Barclay's Center needed to be plunged.

Hoenig: "Well guys, I have to announce that I just got laid-"

Awesome.

Meanwhile, NSW's rival NSFW has been hosting curtain-raisers for years.

+1

And here I thought a heavy fog would first happen at U.S. Cellular once a cold front off Lake Michigan reached Hawk Harrelson.

"Son, we're sorry that we did not initially accept you when you came out to us. It was just so unexpected. We love you dearly and want what's best for you and to be happy, and if being with an ugly motherfucker is what does that, then we'll support you fully."