-Norman Schwarzkopf, 1991

Are we referring to the city, or some child that was recently born to Park Slope parents?

"The director must have spent a ton of money on black greasepaint!"

Andrew Jackson

[meh]

Funny that a black bear climbed up, as usually they're on the down low.

...and this is why you always bring a flask to the competition if you're an interview coach.

+1

And in completely unrelated news, Derek Bell is wondering if anyone can loan him an unwarmed pipe.

After hiring Kidd, the Nets continued to hire former players by telling Todd MacColloch that the toilets in the Barclay's Center needed to be plunged.

Hoenig: "Well guys, I have to announce that I just got laid-"

Awesome.

Meanwhile, NSW's rival NSFW has been hosting curtain-raisers for years.

+1

And here I thought a heavy fog would first happen at U.S. Cellular once a cold front off Lake Michigan reached Hawk Harrelson.

"Son, we're sorry that we did not initially accept you when you came out to us. It was just so unexpected. We love you dearly and want what's best for you and to be happy, and if being with an ugly motherfucker is what does that, then we'll support you fully."

At least when Alex receives a link to this tomorrow from someone saying "This made me laugh so hard when I read this about you lol" he'll know it won't be fake this time.

"Goddammit! It's like nobody's ever worked in antiperspirant before! Jesus!

It appears Danny Almonte has still not learned his lesson of lying about his age.

Just Spin, Baby!