Stab? You really are Canadian. "Gunshot wounds" is more appropriate.

...and has there ever been a time when your attempts at procreation weren't horrifying, at least to the other person?

It is always horrifying to hear when informed that people in Ohio are trying to procreate.

Darvish will rue the day he signed with the Rangers when one-half of him keeps getting stopped and questioned by Texas law enforcement all the time.

I'd love to hear the Greggggg Easterbrooks of the world who think Lawrence Taylor's place in the Hall should be revoked to weigh in on this. Different sport, but still.

Shoulda been you, Jim.

In all fairness, the trainers aren't sure if Armstrong's symptoms are due to that hit or from watching Bucky Larson later that evening.

This is actually a common practice in Packer households. Hence, now you know why children who grew up in Wisconsin during the 80's are known as "The Lost Generation."

ESPN will rectify this problem when they assign Sutcliffe sideline duties the next time the Cardinals host a MNF game.

Rudy was trying to relive his alma mater's glory days by running up the score on a hapless opponent.

Well, you won't want my copy of the Gadsden County Times then. Here, I printed out a stack of the random Google searches your friend seems to have made about obscure crap in areas of academia I don't actually study. Maybe this will help.

I have this old newspaper. I have no intention of joining, but you're free to use it.

Hey, it appears I've got a fan in the pink section! Beyond the publishing aspect, it's actually something subject-wise that I do find interesting and care about (in a nutshell: it's over the fight in the historian community over whether Langston Hughes was gay and how his family estate blocked films and such that…

There really isn't enough time. And the best/worst part is this thing is it's likely going to be submitted for a conference and possible publication down the line, which means a) no half-assing and b) even after I turn it in for class I'll have to revise it at least a few more times.

One awesome thing about grad school: You get to write about shit you actually care about and are given enough time to actually do it justice. The shitty thing about grad school: You've slept maybe 10 hours over 3 days and are still knee-deep in writing and research.

Hedo and Stan: Together since December 18, 2010

I went through 3 jobs in 14 months during the Great Shitstorm in '08-'09. I also didn't write an entire blog post whining about it.

I had sympathy until that last retort of hers. Fuck her. Snark isn't a substitute for wit or intelligence. I hope she pulls that shit in a real workplace environment and has to be dragged before a supervisor to answer for it.

Actually, got here in the fall. I fell off the face of the planet from preparing for the move during the summer. Incidentally, I signed my contract to be here exactly one week before the tornadoes hit. Not sure if it was just a freak of nature or a celestial warning, but I've gone with the former just to be able to…

Dude, if she just wasn't such a "butterface" she'd still be there!